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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26482279">Summer of the Freaks</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/nefertaricezn/pseuds/nefertaricezn'>nefertaricezn</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Original Work</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>1930s, 1940s, Consider this your warning, Domestic Fluff, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Very dark themes, a lot of this is taboo, circus trope, dark themes, freaks, freakshow trope, god the themes are very dark, i know there's a lot of stuff that needs to be cleaned up, i'm aware, i'm not that great at portraying other characters in the same scene but it's ok, just shhh and accept this, might be longer one day, please just let me live my dreams ok, short fic, this was meant to be slowburn but i get too excited for the love, unedited!!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 08:07:07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>40,456</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26482279</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/nefertaricezn/pseuds/nefertaricezn</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>[FIC IS A MASSIVE TRIGGER WARNING. IM SORRY. I DON'T REMEMBER WHICH CHAPTERS THEY WERE SO JUST KNOW DARK THEMES]</p><p>Summer of 1936, there's a freakshow in town bothering the quaint little place. No one likes them except one girl who gets too curious for her own good. Of course, with this and her need to protect and make things better, she gets tugged into a world she never quite expected</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Original Female Character/Original Male Character</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. stranger by the lake</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>post now edit later, I'm SO sorry for any typos or details left out. hope u enjoy!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>It was summer in a rural English town, and Kjersti Arctander would’ve rather been back home in America. She had been sent here to spend the summer with her grandmother, but so far, it was only proving to be a boring time. Nothing seemed to happen here. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kjersti leaned her head against the window, watching the gentle breeze shake the trees and many flowers the Grandma Helga had in the backyard. It was the second most entertaining thing - right next to watching the </span>
  <em>
    <span>clouds</span>
  </em>
  <span> go about their day.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She was curious, though, having heard some rumor that </span>
  <em>
    <span>freaks </span>
  </em>
  <span>were in town. Of course, that was all hearsay and no one was certain if it was true, but the local teens said there was a carnival-esque set up just north of the bridge in the meadow. Most teens were barred from going there, as most mothers deemed that place as the devil’s work. Kjersti couldn’t help the innate need to just </span>
  <em>
    <span>explore</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Grandma? I’m going out for a walk.” She stood, smoothing out her dress before she grabbed her satchel, heading down to the front door when the matriarch of her family stopped her. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t want you going anywhere near that freakshow! The devil runs rampant in people like that.” She shook her head, frail body shaking in rage at the very idea of Satanic creatures in this God fearing town. “If I get one word of you goin’ near them, I will ground you so long you won’t be going home until you’re married!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kjersti squinted, noticing how weird that had sounded, but brushed it off. “I won’t. I’m just going on a walk. I saw a bird the other day and wanted to see if I could find it again to write it down. I won’t go too far!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When she saw Helga’s approving look, she darted outside, inhaling the fresh air as if it had been days since she had last been outside. It was infinitely more calming than being inside all day, sewing and reading and writing things. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The slight breeze made the walk feel short, but as she passed the scattered houses in the town, she felt an ever growing need to just </span>
  <em>
    <span>disobey</span>
  </em>
  <span> and enter the “forbidden” forest. The breeze was absent as she walked the small pathway between the trees. It was shadier too, which was significantly more relaxing than she had ever expected it to be. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There was a small lake not too far from the entrance of the wooded area, littered with fish and turtles and the occasional bug that flew over. It was peaceful here, quieter than she had ever expected it to be. She would have to come here again, when she had the chance to. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She stood there, on the edge of the water as she stared out across to the other side, where she could see a group of people setting up tents and things of the like. If she was willing to walk a bit longer down the edge of the lake, she would be at the stone bridge that filtered the water into a ravine. It was a big bridge, with enough space beneath it to just sit and watch the water rush by. Most of the younger boys hide there to plan out their “attacks” on the neighboring town’s children. Oh to be so young again. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kjersti was only seventeen, but life had made it extremely difficult to experience what she used to, so she figured it was just time to grow up and move on. Yet she could never outgrow her curiosity.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There was just something peculiar about the people across the lake, and if she wasn’t too nervous to cross the bridge, Kjersti was certain she would find all the reasons they would be labelled as satanists or monsters. That alone scared her as well. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Lost, Little Nightingale?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She nearly stumbled straight into the water at the sudden voice, turning around quickly to try and find who the voice belonged to. Her neck craned up to one of the trees, finding a rather freakish man perched in the trees like a creepy owl of some sort. She watched in silence as he jumped from the branch, landing a few feet away from her. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He dusted himself off, smiling warmly at the now very small woman. “You’re a little far from home, Little Nightingale.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The man’s collared shirt was near blinding in contrast to his chapped and charred reddish agitated skin, his lips pursed as his dark eyes stared downward at her, his eyebrows at a critical slant as if he were observing something with intrigue. Closer to his ears, brutal bloody blisters covered his temple is crimson flame-licked raw scarring. Though his visage ravaged by brutality, his sandy blond hair remained intact. Underneath the </span>
  <em>
    <span>disfigurement</span>
  </em>
  <span> was something soft and gentle about him, one you could easily see by looking into his eyes. He wore a look that was clearly unamused, but he was inquisitive of the tiny woman before him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She had to crane her neck to even look at him, feeling fear bubble within her as she stumbled back, ankles greeting the coolness of the water behind her. There was both kindness and intimidating in his eyes, one that scared and confused her. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“W-What…. W-What are you….?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His lips turned into a scowl before her crossed his arms. “Not a </span>
  <em>
    <span>what</span>
  </em>
  <span>, Nightingale. A </span>
  <em>
    <span>who</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Andrej Diefenbach, at your service, Nightingale.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He bowed, offering his hand to her in waiting for her to place her smaller hand in his. When she did, his lips pressed to the back of her hand, surprisingly soft and gentle before he had let her hand go, awaiting her name. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Kjersti. Kjersti Arctander.” He hand quickly snapped back to her side, fiddling with the strap of her satchel as she looked up at him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ah, what a beautiful name. Fitting for a beautiful woman such as yourself.” The subtle wink he passed her way was enough to light her pale face red, alarmed by his flirtatious nature. “You’re a little far from home, Nightingale. I thought the town didn’t like </span>
  <em>
    <span>qualitätslaunen</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Freaks.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I got curious. That’s all. Don’t let it go to your head or anything.” She turned her head to the side, ignoring his suddenly interested gaze. “Besides, I came here to find a </span>
  <em>
    <span>bird</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Not a freak.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Shame, I was enjoying the chemistry between us.” He pouted playfully, running a hand through his hair as he cracked a grin. “You’re strange, Little Nightingale.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kjersti rolled her eyes at his words, suddenly wishing he would just vanish into thin air. Knowing that wouldn’t work regardless of how much she prayed for it, so she just plopped onto a nearby fallen tree, turning her attention to anywhere that wasn’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>him</span>
  </em>
  <span>. She was told not to converse with these </span>
  <em>
    <span>creatures</span>
  </em>
  <span> and yet, here she was, standing a few feet away from one of the most devilish freaks she had the displeasure of seeing.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, come on, Nightingale. Surely you can spare some time to speak with me.” He shifted to stand to her left, arms still crossed over his chest. “Just a few more words.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m not allowed to talk to people like you. If you’ll excuse me, I have a bird to look out for.” She shifted, turning her back to him as she once again ignored him. She didn’t intend on making a big deal about his presence anyways. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was fairly clear that her ignoring him was steadily getting on his nerves, but not once did he snap or act anything like the townsfolk had said he would. He was oddly charming in that sense, that even though she was quickly and very easily denying him something so simple, he wasn’t exactly angry. He had a lot more manners than many of the people in town. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Do you always ignore people who are talking to you, or just the freaks?” He cocked his head to the side, moving to sit down a few feet beside her on the tree. “I don’t bite. Not unless you want me to, that is.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Her eyes widened and she cleared her throat. “I don’t think that’s a very appropriate thing to be saying to someone you just met, Mister Diefenbach.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, so </span>
  <em>
    <span>formal</span>
  </em>
  <span>. But it </span>
  <em>
    <span>is</span>
  </em>
  <span> true. I may </span>
  <em>
    <span>look</span>
  </em>
  <span> brutal and mean, but please don’t let that fool you. I am quite friendly.” He raised an eyebrow at her, watching as she had paused to glance at him. “The greatest enemy of the people is ignorance. We are not always what we are made out to be.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes, well, I clearly don’t want to talk to you and yet here you are, continuing to try and talk to me.” She rolled her eyes at him, clearly unamused by his words. “Why don’t you go and bother someone more willing to put up with you?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You wound me.” But he fell quiet, his gaze becoming laser focused on the groups of people across the lake, as if having seen something interesting going on. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kjersti didn’t even notice when he had vanished, but she was certain if she squinted hard enough, she could see his form in the distance, walking across the bridge. She felt bad with how she had spoken to him, but at the same time it was only fair. He was a freak, a cancer on society that even God had turned away. He was beneath her. At least, that’s how she wanted to feel. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She felt entirely different as she watched him disappear, almost as if she felt terrible about the way she had treated him. She wondered if she would ever see him again. </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. the somewhat unwanted guest</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Kjersti hadn’t truthfully stopped thinking about the enigma that was Andrej. She couldn’t help but want to learn more about him, as well as continue to be standoffish considering the things she heard. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Grandma had invited her friends over for their weekly book club type event, so it left Kjersti outside as they never wanted a “child” to be around when they discussed their books and practically everything else. It pissed her off, annoyed her to no end that no matter how mature or old she was, she was still just a child to them. She was </span>
  <em>
    <span>nothing</span>
  </em>
  <span> but some stupid, immature child to them!</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Her foul mood seeped into her enjoyment of the day, so she didn’t return to the side of the lake that day, but it seemed she didn’t need to. She found Andrej in town, surprisingly in the diner she often went to relax or study. Aunt Marie’s was always the place you wanted to be when you had </span>
  <em>
    <span>just</span>
  </em>
  <span> enough money to get something, and even if you didn’t, you could just work it off easy peasy. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Andrej was with a woman, though, and Kjersti wondered if that woman was someone he was dating. It was none of her business so she just trudged past them, heading towards her usual spot in the corner booth. She ignored Aunt Marie’s words and just slumped forward, head laying against the cool surface of the table. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She wished Andrej would just come and talk to her, like yesterday. He at least treated her like an actual adult, not some dumb child. She’d rather be talking to some freak of nature than sitting here alone, </span>
  <em>
    <span>great</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Freaks weren’t typically allowed to talk to normies, especially when they were one as brutal as he was. She supposed that was why he didn’t say anything to her, or even spare her a small glance, when she had entered. It was lonely, especially since she was just another childish girl surrounded by people who had long since formed their cliques and groups. Maybe it </span>
  <em>
    <span>was</span>
  </em>
  <span> a bad idea to have been so senselessly rude to him the day before, especially since the two were more alike than anybody else. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You doing alright, Miss Arctander? You didn’t even stop to get your pie!” Aunt Marie placed her hands on her hips, sending a frown towards the young girl. “Something on your mind?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Nothing a piece of pie can help with, </span>
  <em>
    <span>but</span>
  </em>
  <span> I will still eat it. Your pie is delicious.” She slowly pulled herself from where she was sitting to approach the counter, choosing to sit on an empty barstool not too far from Andrej and his friend. She poked at the pie at first before taking a few bites. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What’s on your mind, honey?” She leaned forward, chin resting in the palm of her hand. “Cute boys? Cute boys who are invalidating your feelings?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I do </span>
  <em>
    <span>not</span>
  </em>
  <span> have boy problems. Grandma is treating me like a child again, you know how it is. It’s totally not like I’m more mature than my little brother who automatically gets to do whatever he wants! It’s bullshit!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Language!” Aunt Marie sighed, understanding what Kjersti was complaining about. “I’m sure she is only looking out for you, especially since you were entrusted into her care. Don’t let it get to you, alright? You’ll be just fine as long as you stay away from the Harlestons. Those boys are wild, love, best not to get mixed up with them.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You don’t have to tell me twice.” She snorted lightly, finishing off her pie with a light sigh. “I gotta go to the shop today. I still don’t understand why she insists I call her Madame, but she wants me to work on a new dress for the Harlands. Has to be done before their daughter’s wedding in June. It’s so stupid.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, come now. You’re a crafty girl. I’m sure you’re going to enjoy making the dress, you always do.” She rolled her eyes lightly. “You make pretty dresses, I’m sure it won’t be too bad.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“She wants a lime green wedding dress. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Lime Green</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Who even wears lime green? I know they don’t believe in the whole purity symbolism, but you’d think they’d at least wear </span>
  <em>
    <span>white</span>
  </em>
  <span>! It’s a waste of my skills to make some dumb lime green dress!” Kjersti flailed her arms, earning a light snort from Andrej’s partner - who she ignored because truthfully, it didn’t matter. “Lime green… I have to stare at lime green for a month. God save me…”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Sounds like you need a new job, little girl.” Andrej’s friend spoke up, blonde curls framing her face perfectly. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kjersti furrowed her brows at her words, shaking her head. “I’m not </span>
  <em>
    <span>little</span>
  </em>
  <span> nor am I a </span>
  <em>
    <span>girl</span>
  </em>
  <span>, lady.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’ll have to forgive her. She doesn’t like to be treated like a child. She gets a bit prickly, like a cactus!” Marie snickered lightly, shaking her head. “Go on to work now, darling. Better get a jump start, hm?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kjersti stared at her, clearly unamused, before she sighed and slid off of the stool. “I’ll be back later. You know how long Grandma is with her club…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She didn’t spare Andrej, or his dumb friend, another glance as she made her way out and onto the street. It wasn’t her dream to be working for hours on end until her fingers bled from threading needles and sewing from working so much. Madame had never once allowed her to use a sewing machine as that was just “too advanced for a child.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dragging her feet against the pavement, she made her way to the boutique, less than happy to even be there. She greeted Madame how she usually did before heading to the backroom to begin working on the </span>
  <em>
    <span>hideous</span>
  </em>
  <span> lime green dress. She silently worked on piecing together the different pieces of the fabric, cutting them into their respective pieces to prepare sewing them together. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She was quietly humming, working in the backroom with only an open window to keep her company. It wasn’t ideal since Madame would bustle in to tell her to fix something, or even start over, whenever she saw something that she believed the Harlands wouldn’t like. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Everything was going as fine as it could get, and Madame wasn’t barging in as much, when she felt something hit the side of her foot. She looked up, finding Andrej leaning into the room. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hello, Nightingale. Having fun, I presume?” He raised an eyebrow, chin resting in his palm as he simply made himself comfortable.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t have time to be distracted by you.” She turned away from him, moving to grab a few pins as she cut the sleeves of the dress out of the fabric. “Please go bother someone else.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Andrej was quiet, and so she had though he had left, but was steadily surprised to hear him </span>
  <em>
    <span>struggle</span>
  </em>
  <span> with entering the room. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What are you doing?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What does it look like, Nightingale? I’m coming in to help you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kjersti regarded him with disbelief, doubting that he would do anything else other than be a complete nuisance and distraction, but she didn’t stop him. He was taller, and stronger than her so it didn’t really bother her that he decided he was going to join in. The only issue would be Madame. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You need to be quiet. Madame is </span>
  <em>
    <span>very</span>
  </em>
  <span> against people like you. She’d have my head if she saw you in here.” She grumbled quietly, gaze flicking up to the slightly ajar door. “Just don’t do anything stupid, alright? Don’t want to lose my job over you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He rolled his eyes lightly and propped himself against the wall, arms crossing over his chest. “Oh, </span>
  <em>
    <span>please</span>
  </em>
  <span>. She won’t hear me. She was too busy to even notice me, believe it or not.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re six foot, how…. how did she </span>
  <em>
    <span>not</span>
  </em>
  <span> see you?” She paused in her work to look up at him, eyeing him up and down. “You stick out like a sore thumb, not just because of your skin.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He bristled at her words. “Well, I </span>
  <em>
    <span>have</span>
  </em>
  <span> gotten used to sneaking around, and blending in to avoid unwanted attention. Works most days.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She saw the look in his eyes and bit her lip. “You aren’t well liked around these parts, huh? People can be cruel…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You weren’t so different the other day, Kjersti Arctander. But you weren’t the worst, there’s always something worse.” He cocked his head to the side, looking out the window. “I was born in Germany, you know. Things work much differently there.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Germany? You don’t have much of an accent, though!” She went back to working on the dress, piecing together the main piece. “If I’m being honest, I’ve never even left this town. It must be nice going out and exploring, even if it’s not exactly…. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Safe</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It is nice, I suppose, especially when you find the right town to stay in. You should come with us. You don’t necessarily have to be a freak or anything, just come along and enjoy the ride.” He looked at her, brows raised in amusement. “We wouldn’t treat you like a child.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A small smile was on her face at his words. “Tempting, but unfortunately I can’t accept that offer. Not now. My parents would kill me and overreact, you know? Probably saying I got kidnapped or something.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He chuckled lightly. “The offer will always stand. We’re going to be staying here for a while anyways. You can always come to me if you change your mind.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ll think about it.” She shrugged lightly. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The door swung open and Andrej haphazardly leaped to hide, jumping behind a rack full of clothes to be fixed and set out in the shop. But most importantly, in the doorway, stood Kjersti’s boss who was only ever called Madame. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Kjersti! You’re doing it all wrong! Can’t you do anything right? They want ruffles on the arms!” She seethed, nearly frothing at the mouth.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kjersti was used to that, having expected to be shouted at each time that door opened. With it came the slight flinch any time that door moved, even if it was just a slight movement. She even found herself flinching when anyone near her raised their voice, be it her friends from school or even her parents when she returned home for the school year.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She merely hung her head in shame and mumbled several apologies before she simply started working on something Madame would have approved of. Once she was gone, thankfully so, Andrej revealed himself again. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You flinched when she spoke.” He muttered, almost surprised that he had seen it. “She is cruel to you, so why do you stay?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Children should be seen, not heard. No one would believe me if I said why I quit, nor would I even be allowed to do so.” She shook her head quietly, sighing. “I’d rather not stay, but it pays nice and keeps everyone off my back.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He listened, head tilted slightly to the side. “Why not open your own clothing store, then? You can operate on your own terms, do what you want, when you want. Is that not better than to subject yourself to this?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Is it not better to settle somewhere safe, rather than travel places that hurt you because you look different?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Fair enough.” It was clear the topic was unnerving for him, as it always was a tough topic. “This town isn’t as bad as the others, surprisingly. Less shooting at us and more just avoiding.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’ve been shot at? Jesus Lord almighty. I don’t understand get you, Andrej. Why do you do it all if you know you might be killed?” She had long since forgotten the dress and she was willing to pay the price for it, just to hear him speak more of the topic. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“A story for another day, Nightingale. For now, why don’t you return to work, hm? It was never my intention to distract you and cause the hag to yell at you.” He declined answering her question and instead pulled out a dress from the rack. “You’d look nice in this. Purple. It suits you, brings out your eyes.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“My eyes are brown, Andrej. They’re not much to bring out. I appreciate the compliment, though.” She snorted lightly, shaking her head. “I can’t wear those dresses anyways. Madame would </span>
  <em>
    <span>kill</span>
  </em>
  <span> me if I did… not like it should matter since you’re basically a stranger.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Then make one that looks similar, but make sure people know you made it. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Du solltest gehen . Sie kümmert sich offensichtlich nicht um dich</span>
  </em>
  <span>.” He rolled his eyes lightly, shifting so that he could see the time on his wristwatch. “I should go.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hm. Leaving so soon, I see.” She rolled her eyes before looking at the door. “Next time don’t come through the window. I was planning on going to the lake again anyways.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How was I supposed to know? I don’t read minds.” He was already out the window, leaving Kjersti no room to ask what he had meant by that. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She returned to work, although now it just seemed dull without the German around, even if he was a bit of a dorky mess. She hated how curious he made her feel, but at the same time, it </span>
  <em>
    <span>had</span>
  </em>
  <span> been ages since anything new happened. She only hoped he wouldn’t draw too much attention to himself, or most importantly her. </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. red bandages</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Andrej was nowhere to be seen. It was almost like he had vanished off the face of the planet, but Kjersti knew where he might’ve been, she just wasn’t sure if she was willing to disobey everything she’s been told to do. She had broken so many rules just talking to the freak, but wandering into the lion’s den? That was just something she wasn’t sure she could bring herself to do. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>So, she waited. She waited until the day Andrej returned, and surprisingly it was a lot sooner than she had anticipated. It was a beautiful Friday morning when she had seen him next, although, everything about him was off. He seemed stiff, his movements far more rigid and less charismatic than before. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Andrej sat, leaning against the pole of the only freak friendly bar in town when Kjersti passed by, eyes glued to the asphalt ground. He was smoking, she could tell, but there was something sad in his eyes, the type of sadness only a man who had seen all the hate the world could have. She couldn’t help but be concerned for him, so as she approached, she made sure no one could overhear her. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Meet me by the lake, okay? I’ll bring some food.” She spared him a shy smile before quickly scurrying away before someone could notice her. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Wohin du auch gehst, ich werde dir Folgen</span>
  </em>
  <span>.” She heard his words, but wasn’t sure what he was saying, but she had hoped it wasn’t anything too strange or unusual.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kjersti had a party to attend to, but she was certain if she could just go, establish her presence, then leave to visit Andrej. Eliza-Jane was a spoiled little brat as far as she was concerned so it wouldn't be too hard. Enough flattery and you’ve established just enough.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It wasn’t memorable when spending time with Eliza-Jane. Kjersti wasn’t there for long and most of it was talking about boys and a brief whisper about the freaks that were on the outskirts of town. None of the girls there had even noticed when Kjersti had walked in, so it was no surprise that she was able to sneak away. She was quick to break into a sprint, </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Almost immediately after barging into the diner, Kjersti was hunched over and trying to catch her breath. “Get me - oh, Lord - I need food for a picnic basket!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Aunt Marie looked up, already getting ready to fulfil the young girl’s wishes. “You’ll need something to carry the food you’re orderin’ honey, there’s a basket beneath the register you can take, just return it later. Might I do some wonderin’ about this picnic and ask if it’s for a </span>
  <em>
    <span>boy</span>
  </em>
  <span>?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What? No! No, boys. Boy free zone right here.” She shook her head quickly, gasping in offence at Marie’s words. “Besides, I’m just doing this because I’m </span>
  <em>
    <span>worried</span>
  </em>
  <span> about the person in question. They’re just acting…. </span>
  <em>
    <span>different </span>
  </em>
  <span>from when I first met them. I’m worried is all.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Mhmmm, </span>
  <em>
    <span>worried</span>
  </em>
  <span>.” She rolled her eyes lightly. “I saw that freak climb out the window a few days ago, you know. You need to be careful with a man like that, he could bring nothing but trouble.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kjersti was quiet for a moment as she grabbed the basket from beneath the register and started filling it with foods and snacks she thought Andrej might like, as well as drinks. Alcohol was out of the question for her, but sodapops weren’t. She hoped he wouldn’t mind, at least. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I have no idea what you mean, Aunt Marie. He’s not… He’s not like what they say, but he </span>
  <em>
    <span>is</span>
  </em>
  <span> odd. I want to know more about him, you know? He seems real sweet but there’s just a lot to him that I don’t understand. There isn’t a sin against curiosity.” She looked down momentarily, holding the basket against her hip. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know, I just want you to be careful, alright? Not everyone here is happy about their being here.” She shook her head before pulling out one of the more expensive cakes, chocolate raspberry. “You owe me big time for this, but he normally orders this whenever he’s here. It’s his favorite, I’m guessin’.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Her eyes lit up at the sight, widening to the size of saucers when she saw how big the slices were. She watched as Aunt Marie put them into containers and handed it to her.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Now go, don’t keep your new friend waiting, huh? And remember that you owe me for this!” She waved Kjersti away, shooing her out the door.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kjersti shuffled onto the street, a big grin on her face as she embarked for the lakeside. As she walked, she narrowly avoided Helga and her group of old people friends before successfully darting through the offshoots of roads. She walked in silence, quickening her pace when she recognized the familiar pathway that would lead her to the lake. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He was there, when she had made it to the edge of the lake. He was still stiff, but turned around to face her when she had cleared her throat. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I brought food. There’s also a surprise in it too.” She beckoned for him to come sit with her by the fallen tree trunk, and he did, quietly and with a slight wince. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I wonder what the surprise is, hm, Nightingale?” He tapped his chin with a soft smile, but his eyes betrayed how he truly felt. Pain, pure and violent pain. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I </span>
  <em>
    <span>was</span>
  </em>
  <span> going to save it for dessert, but you look like you’ve been through some things.” Then she opened the basket, pulling out the chocolate raspberry cake in the container, happily handing it to him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Andrej’s eyes sparkled, as if he had finally discovered the magic of Christmas. “You… You got this for me?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She nodded, smiling lightly. “Mhm! I told you I’d bring food. I was…. worried about you when you never showed up. Are you okay?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He was silent for a long while, a contemplative look on his face that didn’t quite reveal how troubled he actually was. His gaze shifted from the cake in his hands to the crystal blue water of the lake before them. Then, he sighed. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“My skin, it… it hurts sometimes. A very debilitating pain... “ He cleared his throat lightly, awkwardly rubbing at his wrist with a light sigh. “I wanted to come by more, to at least visit, Nightingale, but -”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s alright, Andrej. I - I understand why you </span>
  <em>
    <span>wouldn’t</span>
  </em>
  <span> want to move anywhere…. Does it get better, or does it just always hurt…?” She tilted her head at him, hand twitching nervously, itching to touch him, to just feel what his skin felt. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He bit his lip, eyeing her hand with a cat-like level of caution. “Some days it hurts like the fires of Hell are burning me alive, others, I hardly feel it at all. My skin feels repilitan, smooth yet rough. But when it hurts, it feels like a cactus. Be careful, but you’re welcome to feel for yourself.” He held his hand out to her, offering her the chance of touching his skin. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Eyes wide, she reached her hand to take his, fingers ghosting over the back of his hand with childish awe. She knew better than to gawk and look on in delight about how strange his hand felt, especially considering he was in some amount of pain, but at the same time she was so very intrigued and interested. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Your hand is very soft, Nightingale.” He chuckled quietly, watching her gently touch his hand. “You do not need to be </span>
  <em>
    <span>so</span>
  </em>
  <span> gentle, you know. I can handle this, but I </span>
  <em>
    <span>am</span>
  </em>
  <span> sorry for making you worry. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Ich bin überrascht, dass du besorgt bist</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Her eyes drifted from his hand to his eyes, withdrawing her hand. “We should probably eat. I don’t think I’ll be able to hide from Grandma much longer. Maybe don’t eat the cake first, hm? Save the best for last!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His lips tugged into a genuine smile. “I think I am perfectly just fine eating the cake first, but what else did you bring?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I dunno. I just took what Aunt Marie gave me.” She shrugged lightly, peering into the basket with a curious hum. “Sandwiches, sodapops, and the cake slices.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hm. I say we eat the cakes first and then have the rest.” He waved his hand dismissively, reaching for the silverware he had spotted in the basket, a small wince leaving his lips as he did so. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Her brows knitted together at that. “Andrej, careful -!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh? What happened to the Nightingale that wanted me to go away hm? I’ll be okay, I can handle it.” He waved his hand dismissively, quickly taking a rather large bite of his slice. “This was… very thoughtful of you, thank you.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Just got used to talking to you I guess. Don’t let it go to your head, or anything. You’re still a freak.” She huffed lightly, pulling out her own cake and a fork. “You’re weird, you know that? Who wants to eat cake before the actual meal?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I have a sweet tooth, I can’t help it.” He replied, shrugging her words off. “If it’s all the same, I’d rather you not call me a freak so freely. What society says I am is different from who I truly am.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Right, sorry.I wasn’t really thinking, but I’ll try not to say it again.” She shrugged quietly, instantly feeling bad. It was just a simple word to her, but to him, it was entirely different.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He stared at his cake long and hard before he sighed. “Nightingale, do you know what it is like to be like us? We are the worst of the worst in the eyes of your society. Your words hold more meaning over the fate of us than you could ever know. You could say I hurt you, and they would believe you. Being called a freak doesn’t seem so bad to you, but to us it’s like a prison sentence. Understand?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“But that’s unfair, isn’t it? You deserve the same rights as we do, whether you </span>
  <em>
    <span>look</span>
  </em>
  <span> like us or not.” She tilted her head at him, watching as he silently continued eating his cake. He didn’t say anything more until he had completely finished it all.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Life doesn't work that way, Nightingale, but perhaps one day.” He spared her a small smile before holding his hand out. “I’ll take the sodapop and the sandwich now.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ate a whole cake slice and you’re still hungry? You must have five stomachs or something?” She laughed lightly, but gave him the things he wanted, silently moving her cake back into the basket to save for later as she grabbed her own sandwich. “You’re strange, Andrej Diefenbach.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And yet it is you who has brought me here and fed me. Can’t imagine anything stranger than that.” He shrugged, a small chuckle leaving his lips. “It’s not very often someone gets me my favorite cake.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She was seconds away from responding when she had noticed something seeping from the collar of his shirts. It was blood, the sticky, red liquid that just seemed to spread further. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Andrej… you’re bleeding…” She raised her hand hesitantly, shifting his collar to the side to see where the blood was coming from, only to see that it came from his skin. “Do you have any bandages with you or something?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He stared at her blankly, eyes following the length from her shoulder to her wrist, almost surprised that she had even </span>
  <em>
    <span>shown</span>
  </em>
  <span> how much she already seemed to care. “I appreciate the concern, but I am quite alright. This is a daily occurrence for me, it’s no big deal.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“But you’re </span>
  <em>
    <span>bleeding</span>
  </em>
  <span>, Andrej. I’m sure I’ve got bandages at home, or something.” She shook her head, hoping he’d agree to it, but all she got was a frustrated and very stubborn glare from him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I appreciate the concern and worry you are showing me, but this is nothing compared to what I could be enduring.” Again, he waved her off and took a rather large bite of his sandwich, signaling he wasn’t going to respond any further. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kjersti still didn’t believe him, and to prove that he was much too stubborn for his own safety, she pressed her hand against his shoulder, watching his face contort into pain. “Look, you’re in serious pain. Let me bandage you up, at least, alright?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I have half the mind to just toss you into the lake for that.” He swatted her hand away from him before sighing. “You’re as stubborn as a mule, Nightingale, but very well. Where do you suppose you’d get the bandages, hm?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Wait here, don’t go </span>
  <em>
    <span>anywhere</span>
  </em>
  <span> and try to keep yourself from eating my cake.” She gave him a thumbs up before darting down the same path that had led her here.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kjersti hadn’t thought of stopping to catch her breath as she ran down the streets that led her home. Helga wasn’t home when she had returned, which was fantastic, but she did leave a small mess with her search for the bandages. Once she found enough bandages that she thought would help, she grabbed them and a rag as well to clean the blood. She couldn’t bring too much, so she just took the items and quickly returned to the lakeside. Of course, there was one minor issue in her departure. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They made themselves at home near the living room, in clear view of the front door. Kjersti slowly, unsurely, opened the creaky backdoor before quickly rushing out, hoping Helga and her friends were too distracted to hear her leave.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She walked quickly this time, only running in intervals to save her energy and to also see if Andrej would eat her sandwich if she took only a little bit longer. However, she was pleasantly surprised to see that when she returned, Andrej had stretched out on the log, either asleep or just staring up at the sky.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sorry, would’ve been here sooner but Grandma came home with her friends.” She shrugged nonchalantly. “I’ve got some bandages. Now, take your shirt off.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Typically I am all for having a lady demand I take my shirt off, but this is drastically different. Do you even know how to properly bandage someone?” He pulled himself to sit upright, slowly unbuttoning his shirt before he tossed it aside. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, but I’ll learn as I go.” She shrugged.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His chest was no different than his face, blistered and ravaged by the curse God had given him. Blood dripped from the dried cracks in his skin, dripping red spreading like wildfires through the cracks and indents of his skin, seeping into the waistline of his paints. With so much pain, she wondered how he remained so calm. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Silently, she wet the rag in the water before coming to sit in front of him, pressing the rag against the dry spots and cleaning the blood away with as much care as she could, given the sensitivity of the already irritated skin. She switched to his back and arms afterwards, ending with his neck which was irritated unlike the rest of him, almost as if there was a thin rope digging into his skin. There was even a faint scar as if a rope </span>
  <em>
    <span>had </span>
  </em>
  <span>been around his neck at some point.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re very gentle.” He mused quietly, wincing as she inspected his neck wounds. “Mm, I suddenly have the urge to take that back.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“These scars on your neck....” She ignored his words, more focused on the marks he seemed so nonchalant about. “You weren’t just gone because of your skin…. were you?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There was hesitance in his eyes, true fear in the eyes of a man who had only ever shown nonchalance and calmness. She didn’t know what scared her more: the fact that he was afraid, or the fact that there were people cruel enough to do this to another </span>
  <em>
    <span>human</span>
  </em>
  <span>. If they could do this to a human, freak or not, how could they run free?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>What</span>
  </em>
  <span> happened to you, Andrej? Who did this?” She looked up at him, absent hands wrapping the comfortable fabric of the bandages around his torn body. “Why do you stay…?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He said nothing, as he always seemed to do when he had nothing to say that wouldn’t upset her in any way.  He let his gaze drop, simply staring at her hands until he felt her tilt his head upwards where his gaze slowly met hers.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I - I’m sorry they do this…” She whispered, as if she could so easily take away the pain, and the people, who had hurt him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kjersti could feel the fear, and the shakiness that betrayed his natural stoic demeanor. He was anxious, barely even able to sit still. She kept his focus, trying to keep him as calm as she could, but she could only do so much to help with pain she knew so little about. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She watched as his gaze dropped before returning to his eyes. He shook his head solemnly and pulled away from her, finishing the bandaging himself only to hurriedly throw his shirt back on. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thank you for the bandages.” He cleared his throat lightly, buttoning his shirt. “Not many would be as kind as you are, even if you were hesitant about me.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She silently looked at him, saddened by the fact that he wouldn’t even offer some </span>
  <em>
    <span>lie</span>
  </em>
  <span> about his neck. She was even certain that she would’ve been one of the people to stand by and watch as he was hurt, most likely even silently cheering them on, too. But that was before she had gotten the chance to know him, before she realized he was just a </span>
  <em>
    <span>human</span>
  </em>
  <span> and he had feelings.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re safe here, you know that right?” She looked up at him, hoping he wouldn’t think of her like the others. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You can never be safe when you look like me, Nightingale, but I appreciate all that you are doing.” He smiled softly, bowing his head lightly. “I really owe you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You don’t owe me anything, Andrej. I’ve got some stuff to do tomorrow, but we should meet back here again, alright? I’ll bring some more food or something.” She began packing up before noticing she still had the rest of her chocolate cake in it. “You’re welcome to have this if you’d like, I don’t think I’ll be able to finish it any time soon.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He smiled softly, happily taking the cake from her. “Truly, you spoil me rotten. Thank you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah? Don’t let it go to your head, weirdo. I don’t plan on spoiling you forever.” She snickered lightly, instinctively ruffling his hair. “Oh, sorry -”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His smile grew into a grin, clearly amused. “</span>
  <em>
    <span>Du bist einfach zu süß</span>
  </em>
  <span>, Nightingale. You should get going, I wouldn’t want you to get in trouble for being with me too long.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hm, right.” She nodded quietly, turning to leave before she looked back at him. “Stay safe, Diefenbach.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ll try.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>-</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She walked slowly after returning the basket and silverware to Aunt Marie. It wasn’t that she didn’t want to go home, but the sight she had seen when helping Andrej was sickening, and changed everything. Questions filled her mind and she was certain Andrej wouldn’t answer any of them, and that was okay, but she couldn’t believe that someone in this small town, did that to him. It could’ve been one of her friends, or maybe even a police officer, meant to serve and protect. Point being was that </span>
  <em>
    <span>someone</span>
  </em>
  <span> had choked him, someone had hurt him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Helga was standing on the porch when she came home, madder than a hippo. She was tapping her foot impatiently, arms crossed over her chest with a stern look on her face. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I went to Eliza-Jane’s to pick you up and you weren’t there. Care to explain where you were?” Her rough tone was enough to tell Kjersti that she was in serious trouble, and when she failed to give a response, it only worsened. “Thought so. Hanging around those demons! Go straight to your room young lady, you won’t be eating any supper tonight.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kjersti’s eyes widened. “Grandma, please! He needed me, he was hurt!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You were meeting a boy?” She seethed, grabbing the girl by her hair as she yanked her inside. “I’ve had enough of your foolish behavior, girl! Pack your things, you’re going to stay at the Westover hotel, surrounded by freaks so that you may learn just how bad they are! Do not even </span>
  <em>
    <span>bother</span>
  </em>
  <span> coming back until you’re ready to respect my rules!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kjersti sputtered quickly, words of denial and panic spewing from her mouth as she pleaded with Helga to go back on her ultimatum. Her words were incoherent, numb and unable to even piece what was leaving her own lips. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Enough of that nonsensical blubbering, child! It is either a roof over your head with money to bring food </span>
  <em>
    <span>or</span>
  </em>
  <span> that foolish demon you’ve been so tempted by!” She seethed, slamming the door behind them. “What will you choose?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kjersti stared up at the woman, hot tears streaming down her face as she hiccuped and sobbed, trying her hardest to keep both her anger and practically every other emotion she was feeling down and out of the way. Fists clenched and shaking with rage, she made her choice.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Heading up to her room, she pulled her suitcase from beneath her bed and started tossing things into it. Clothes and small trinkets found themselves buried amongst one another in her suitcase, a meek attempt to fit as much stuff as humanly possible. It seemed as if her grandmother had expected her to just stay there hence why she hadn’t even bothered with following her up the stairs. It hurt, but it helped make this painful moment easier. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Warm tears continued to flow down her face, but no noise left her lips aside from her wavering breath. This wasn’t just a simple sending off to someplace new, she was being kicked out of her temporary home over a </span>
  <em>
    <span>man</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Quietly, without so much as a second glance to the room, she headed downstairs. Helga was in the kitchen, probably making dinner, so Kjersti rummaged through her purse until she found just enough money to pay for the week (combined with her allowance and summer spending money, of course.) Then, that was it. She didn’t bother with a note, she didn’t bother saying goodbye. What was the point? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Andrej was every bit as human as they were. He had feelings and opinions </span>
  <em>
    <span>exactly</span>
  </em>
  <span> like everyone else, so why was it so hard to understand that just because he </span>
  <em>
    <span>looks </span>
  </em>
  <span>different, doesn’t mean he is. Perhaps if she had never met him, she wouldn’t be trudging down the street with a heavy suitcase. Perhaps if she had avoided him from the beginning, she wouldn’t have chosen him over a warm place to stay. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Her mind, through the haze of tears that continued to fall and the headache that grew in intensity, she thought about the scar around his neck. The pain he must’ve felt when that wasn’t a scar, but a fresh wound. Perhaps this was why she chose him? To stay close to him, to </span>
  <em>
    <span>protect</span>
  </em>
  <span> him somehow. It seemed near impossible for that to be the case, but at the same time, she worried that one of these days, they’ll tie that rope against his neck and this time there will be no escaping what fate awaits him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He was the only person to ever look at her and talk as if she were an adult too. He respected her in ways that she didn’t expect. She appreciated it, loved it, and now she felt as if she was drawn to him, drawn to his very charming - but questionable - being. She had friends, she didn’t necessarily need him, but he was something new and he filled her with questions that she so needed answers to. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But none of those questions, or the answers, would’ve prepared her for this. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kjersti knew where the freak friendly hotel was, so she made her way there, although it felt like she had been walking for hours by the time she arrived. It had only been forty-six minutes, but what does that mean to a girl who just got kicked out of her home.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The hotel had a bar area to the right of the foyer, and as Kjersti was checking in, she was looking around and inspecting the room. She wasn’t sure if she expected it to be drastically different from non-freak friendly hotels or not, but it was relatively nice. Up until a familiar set of eyes met hers. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Of course he was here. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ignoring him, she slid some money onto the counter and grabbed the key to her room with a heavy sigh before she made her way up the stairs. Her suitcase was heavy, but she made light work of disappearing into her room. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was a small room, with one twin sized bed that seemed big, even for her, but it would work fine with how cheap the room was. She silently unpacked before she gave up and laid down on the bed, curling up and wishing Andrej had never come here. Wishing he had never bothered to speak with her. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There was a knock on the door, but she refused to acknowledge it until the door opened and a familiar, yet very annoying face, popped in. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <span>Would you like to talk about it, Nightingale?” He tilted his head, brows creased in concern. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>At first, Kjersti only shook her head, wanting to tell him nothing about what had occurred - mostly to save herself from his pity. “No, I would not.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“People who lead a lonely existence always have something on their minds that they are eager to talk about.” He sighed quietly, arms crossing over his chest in silent interest. “Do not keep these things locked away. It is not healthy, okay? Would you like to share, now?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She furrowed her brows at him, but she relented. “She found out I was spending time with you and made me choose.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And you chose me, didn’t you?” He frowned, shaking his head as his hands fell to his side.</span>
  <span> “Not very many would be as brave as you, and I appreciate that, but you are young. There is much in life for you to learn, to see, to </span>
  <em>
    <span>experience</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Go home, Kjersti, don’t waste so much time here.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If I do that, she’ll forbid me from ever seeing you again! That hardly seems fair, you know! You’re the only person who treats me how I want to be treated! You don’t baby me or act as if I’m too stupid to understand!” She hissed, sitting up with a huff. “She can’t dictate my life, Andrej. It’s just </span>
  <em>
    <span>not</span>
  </em>
  <span> fair! I should be allowed to spend time with whoever I want!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He remained quiet for a moment, arms moving to cross over his chest. “You’ve only known me for two weeks, Kjersti. You don’t know me much at all. I </span>
  <em>
    <span>do</span>
  </em>
  <span> appreciate all that you’ve done, but you can’t make these decisions based only on two weeks when I was gone for most of one of those weeks.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I consider you a friend, Andrej. What good is life if you don’t get to choose who you live it with? Who you get to spend your free time with?” She shook her head lightly, sniffling. “I want to be your friend. Why do you have to make it so hard for me to do that?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He inhaled sharply at her words, pinching the bridge of his nose before he beckoned for her to follow him. “Come downstairs. If you want to be my friend, there are some people I want you to meet.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She stared up at him, a bit emotionally numb to the fact that this had all happened to begin with. “Alright, alright. I’ll come with you. Just… can we talk later?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Of course,” He paused, “you might want your money back. I paid for your stay.” </span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Andrej</span>
  </em>
  <span>!”</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. a box of forgotten things</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>He was being exceptionally kind to her and for that she was eternally grateful, but she couldn’t help the curiosity that came with the reason why he was here, of all places. He just seemed to be everywhere she was, or had been, and it made her </span>
  <em>
    <span>very</span>
  </em>
  <span> curious to know if he was following her or something. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Can I ask you something, Andrej?” She looked at him, stopping him just before they reached the stairs. He said nothing, but bowed his head to get her to continue. “Why are you here? I thought you were staying by the lake?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, well, a majority of us do stay by the lake, but we have children with us and we try to give them the best accomodations.” He responded lightly, ushering her down the stairs in front of him. “They’re all extremely young, save for one. He’s a moody one, aggressive and oftentimes a bit… </span>
  <em>
    <span>odd</span>
  </em>
  <span>? I try my best with him but he hates my guts.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So, you just take care of them all?” She smiled lightly at that, looking down. “You’re like a mama duck with all her ducklings!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Andrej raised an eyebrow at her words, a small smile tugging at his lips. “I don’t think anyone has ever compared me to a mother duck, but I suppose it’s not too far from the truth. If you don’t mind, I’d like to introduce you to the, ah, group.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t mind. It’d be nice to have some new friends, anyways.” She looked down quietly, moving her hand to grip his sleeve, a bit nervous. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He said nothing before leading her into the main room where children with varying differences ran around playing a game of some sort, while some of the adults ate their food and observed the children. They all seemed to be having fun, well, all except a boy who sat in the corner. He just seemed so out of it and judging from his expression, he seemed to absolutely </span>
  <em>
    <span>hate</span>
  </em>
  <span> everything around him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There was a tall black woman who had been staring at them the moment they had entered, but Kjesrti noticed interesting patches of pale skin that scattered her body. She had never seen anything like it before, but the woman seemed to be showing off her skin with a short sleeved dress and heels. Her hair was wild and free, and if Kjersti was to take a guess, it described her personality. She couldn’t help but feel a little jealous with the way Andrej seemed to lighten up at the sight of her. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His hand moved to her back, between her shoulder blades as he leaned down. “That’s Victoria. She prefers Vicki. She has vitiligo. She’s my second in command, very sweet but can also be very strict.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She shivered at the feeling of his warm breath against her neck and managed a nervous smile towards the woman in question. “She’s tall and wearing heels to make her taller -”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I say this with as much respect anyone can have for another person, but you are </span>
  <em>
    <span>very</span>
  </em>
  <span> small. Everyone is tall to you.” His hand fell and he offered a silent nod towards Vicki. “Vicks, this is Kjesrti, the friend I was talking to you about.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kjersti wanted to mention how he had said she was his friend, but the sharp look Vicki was giving her trapped her words within her throat. She felt like a gazelle being sized up by a lion, as if that lion was deciding whether she was worth the effort to kill or not. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Nice to meet you, Kjersti.” She smiled, after a moment of nerve wracking silence. “I can see why Andrej likes you so much. You’re so sweet lookin’! He hasn’t given you too much trouble, has he? I’ll give him a good scolding if he did!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh… thank you! He hasn’t given me any trouble, promise!” She chuckled lightly, but she couldn’t help the butterflies in her stomach that followed shortly after hearing Vicki say that Andrej had liked her so much (but to what extent was what she wanted to know.) </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Good, good. He can be as stubborn as a mule sometimes.” She waved her hand dismissively, sending a curious gaze towards Andrej before she waved him off. “I’ll make sure she doesn’t get into too much trouble, hun. You go on and try and get Crow to open up a little.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Andrej hesitated at that, glancing between the two. “Alright, but don’t scare her off, Vicks. Her and I got some talking to do later.” And just like that he had made his way to the other side of the room, plopping down beside the angry boy who Kjersti now recognized to be Crow.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Vicki hummed happily at that before leading Kjersti towards a lone table in the corner, helping Kjersti into her seat before sitting across from her. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So, you’re the girl that got Andrej all curious and concerned. He talks about you often, you know. Mainly about </span>
  <em>
    <span>your </span>
  </em>
  <span>stubbornness, but I can tell you mean well. You aren’t like the others, he speaks of you with genuine admiration which is not something very common. I don’t doubt his judgement, but just make sure when he’s with you that he’s not putting himself in danger.” She hummed, leaning her chin in the palm of her hand, a playful smile on her face. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kjersti cleared her throat lightly, looking away slightly. “Of course, he’s been through enough already, but what about you? I mean, you’re a black woman…. isn’t it just as dangerous for you, if not more?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ll be okay, I can handle myself. Besides, we all look after one another here.” She mused lightly, gaze drifting to Andrej and Crow. “He told me about what you did for him, the bandages and all. He’s not a very… easy guy to work with, so I’m glad you helped him. He’s not one to admit when he needs help, so it’s good your stubbornness was there to combat it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I could tell. He… He was </span>
  <em>
    <span>obviously</span>
  </em>
  <span> in pain yet he seemed so calm and </span>
  <em>
    <span>fine</span>
  </em>
  <span>. He’s got a scar around his neck, too, and he just…” She sighed in exasperation, leaning her head down on the table. “Why is he so stubborn? It’s not like it’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>wrong</span>
  </em>
  <span> to admit when you’re hurting.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He’s a wounded, bitter man when it comes down to it. He does it to save himself, but it always just makes things significantly harder. He’s like a turtle and this is his shell.” She sighed lightly. “He’s strong, but you’ll come to learn he’s just like everyone else.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kjersti couldn’t help but just watch Andrej and Crow talk, although it was mostly just Andrej talking with Crow avidly making faces at everything he said. She was pretty curious on why Crow was the way he was, but knew better than to ask about it, especially considering she had </span>
  <em>
    <span>just</span>
  </em>
  <span> met these people. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How old are you, if you don’t mind my asking?” Vicki followed her gaze lightly. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, I’m seventeen, but I turn eighteen in July.” She responded quietly before looking back at her. “Why?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I like to make cute thick threaded blankets. They’re pretty fun to make, and I think I have just enough time to make one for your birthday!” She chirped lightly, clapping her hands out of excitement. “I don’t know if Andrej told you, but we’ll be here for the whole summer! Granted the folks here don’t try to kill us, or the children.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kjersti smiled at that, nodding quietly. “Well, I hope they don’t. You all seem wonderful. Vicki, how long have you known Andrej?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, since before the accident.” She waved her hand dismissively before her eyes widened. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What acci -”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Accident? No accident! None at all! Anyways, I should go, try not to get lost, hm?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Vicki quickly rushed from the table, abandoning the seventeen year old there as if it was something Andrej wouldn’t get mad at her for. She wondered what else she could do, now that her newest friend is absent. That wasn’t her main thought, anymore though. What accident had she been talking about? Did it involve Andrej?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It seemed Crow was done talking with Andrej when the latter had returned to sit across from her, it was now or never.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Andrej…. what was the accident?” All visible color had drained from Andrej’s face and it was clear she had struck a nerve. The neck wound and the blood meant nothing to him, yet the very mention of </span>
  <em>
    <span>this</span>
  </em>
  <span> was enough to make him so clearly uncomfortable. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Vicks said something, didn’t she?” There wasn’t an answer, he didn’t need one. He sighed. “She likes to ramble. The accident is nothing, I promise. She just likes to hear herself talk. I wouldn’t take anything she says seriously. She’s just happy to hear herself talk sometimes.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kjersti doubted every word that came from his mouth, she knew well enough that something about this accident was far more important than what she had originally thought. She couldn’t push him any further, though, not if she wanted to risk upsetting him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She leaned over, her hand reaching to hold on to his shaky hand. “It’s alright. You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to. I’m glad you brought me down here, though, they all seem so interesting and fun. They’re a unique bunch.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A small smile formed when he had heard that. “You only met one, and heard of the other. There are a lot more of us than you think, but you managed to get Vicks to like you. She’s very judgemental of guests, but I think she’s just protective of me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Makes sense, you care a lot for them, for her, and for the children. Who </span>
  <em>
    <span>wouldn’t </span>
  </em>
  <span>want to protect you?” She chuckled lightly, playfully rolling her eyes. “I wanted to ask, but… what’s up with that Crow kid? Why’s his name Crow?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ah, slow down with the questions,” Andrej snickered lightly, more at ease now. “Crow was a boy we found on one of our travels. Wish I could tell you more, but the boy is hard to work with. He doesn’t like to talk unless it’s to patronize people.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Do you think he’ll open up anytime soon?” She yawned, rubbing her eyes lightly. “Sorry…. I’m just so sleepy all of a sudden…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You should get on to bed, then, I’ll walk you up. We can have our conversation later.” He smiled gently at that before standing, helping her to her feet. “For someone who was so…. hesitant to talk to me at first, I cannot begin to express how much it means to me that you’re giving them a chance, too.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Friends of yours are friends of mine, Andrej. Besides, they seem super nice, I don’t see why I shouldn’t like them. They’re lucky to have someone like you to keep them safe.” She happily took his help before straightening herself out. “You’re so much nicer than anyone I’ve ever met. If… If my grandma comes looking for me, can you just tell her an owl ate me or something?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Andrej was quiet for a moment as he led her out of the room. “You are very cute, Nightingale, but she only wants what’s best for you. You cannot blame her for being cautious.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Andrej, why should someone else decide what’s best for me?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Because you aren’t technically an adult, yet. She still sees you as a child -”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know but I hate it! I hate it so much! I </span>
  <em>
    <span>want</span>
  </em>
  <span> to be treated like an adult, but she won’t ever listen! It’s like, I can’t be treated like an adult if I’m not engaged or married, or whatever, but she won’t even let me be outside after four! Who even does that?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Andrej was silent for a moment as he walked up the stairs with her at his side. He was uncertain of how to respond to the rant before he paused. He never had the chance to say anything more before she had asked something else.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why do you call me nightingale?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“A nightingale represents creativity, the muse, and solitude. Most attribute it to the creativity of musicians and artists alike. The song of the nightingale is said to bring good omens to creative types. But for you, it represents the muse.” He answered simply, shrugging with a small smile on his face.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Her face reddened slightly. “So, I am the muse? Who’s muse would I be?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That is not the point, not now at least. I’m sure you can walk the rest of the way to your room? I’d walk the rest of the way with you, but I fear Crow might fight someone.” He chuckled nervously, gesturing to the noise coming from the room they had since departed from. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes, I know my way back. You go on and make sure no one hurts each other.” She smiled at him, waving him away. “I’ll be okay. Think I might just pass out cold anyways.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He chuckled lightly at that. “Very well, I’ll see you tomorrow, alright?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“See you, Andrej, and try not to get hurt.” She smiled at him before turning on her heels and heading towards the hall of rooms. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The second floor was barren of any people, so when she noticed a room that had an open door, she entered it against all better judgement. The room was different than hers in more ways than one, but most noticeably was how the bed was shifted closer to the left wall, avoiding the window entirely. The sheets on the bed were messy, thrown about on the floor as if whoever occupied the room had gotten stuck in a quick attempt to leave. A lone sketchbook rested on the bedside table, and just beneath it was a tipped over box with scattered photos around it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The room was in disarray, almost like someone had broken in, but she knew better than to assume that. She approached the scattered photos and scooped them back into the box, setting it aside as she turned her attention to the sketchbook. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Her heart was beating heavily in her chest, she could even hear it in her ears as she grabbed the book, opening it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The first page had a sketch of her, curly brown hair and warm smile. She wondered who could draw something so realistic, so beautiful. She had never seen an image of herself like this, at least never so beautifully done. Everything she saw hideous with herself: the faint scar on her eyelid from when her cat stepped on her face, the way her left eye drooped ever so slightly, and even just the way her eyes seemed so sad even when she was happy. It was </span>
  <em>
    <span>all</span>
  </em>
  <span> captured and made beautiful by the owner of this sketchbook in one drawing. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tears formed in her eyes at the sheer awe and beauty the drawing was, but what was even more was that it wasn’t the only drawing. Pages and pages of drawings, all </span>
  <em>
    <span>her, </span>
  </em>
  <span>followed. Most of which had the lake as a backdrop or none at all, there was even one in the backdrop of Madame’s shop. They were all so beautiful and renewed her confidence in her own beauty, but she knew that there was only one person who had spent enough time with her to make these. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Suddenly, Andrej’s talk of the nightingale made so much more sense, and even why he had started calling her a nightingale. She was </span>
  <em>
    <span>his</span>
  </em>
  <span> muse.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kjersti slowly set aside the sketchbook even if she truthfully just wanted to look at it until each image was burned into her mind. She looked down at the box of photos before grabbing it and pulling out a few photos.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The first one was of a tall man, with wild blond hair and what she could assume was blue eyes. He was carefree, completely happy and by the big grin that was on his face, he was having a fantastic time. She </span>
  <em>
    <span>knew</span>
  </em>
  <span> who this was. There was no way this wasn’t Andrej, but his skin was so clear and </span>
  <em>
    <span>different</span>
  </em>
  <span>. It was both charming but terrifying. What changed? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Nightingale, I thought you were tired.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Andrej’s sudden voice caused her to yelp, dropping the box and the photos within it. She stared up at the man in the doorway, eyes wide like a deer in headlights. She hadn’t meant to get caught here, snooping around like a fox - she wasn’t as clever as one.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I, uh, please don’t be mad?” She watched as he silently approached, kneeling before her as he picked up the photos, each clearly reminding him of a time he wanted to forget. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I suppose you have questions.” He cleared his throat lightly as he set the box of photos aside, then he noticed the sketchbook and he got nervous. “D-Did you… ah …. go through it?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kjersti nodded, biting her lip. “I like the drawings, Andrej. They’re really pretty. I didn’t think you noticed all those things about me. I… It made me feel pretty again, if I’m being honest.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He remained quiet after that, almost paralyzed by the very idea that she had seen something he had so desperately wanted to keep hidden. After a moment of silence, he sat on the bed, gesturing for her to sit beside him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Andrej… what happened…?” She placed her hand over his, her heart breaking when he had flinched. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The normally stoic German sat in silence, panicked and paralyzed by the fear that seemed to be consuming him. His grip tightened on her hand, almost as if his entire life was depending on it, on </span>
  <em>
    <span>her</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Years ago,” He began, voice barely above a whisper, “I worked in this place, it dealt with nuclear things. I was new to the job and -”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>The accident</span>
  </em>
  <span>.” She hadn’t meant to cut him off like she did, but piecing two and two together as quickly as she did left her hating the outcome before she even knew it. She didn’t want him to finish, she didn’t want him to continue his story anymore. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes, </span>
  <em>
    <span>the accident</span>
  </em>
  <span>. I...I was only there for a few months. I had a </span>
  <em>
    <span>wife</span>
  </em>
  <span> and a newborn baby yet I…. There was an accident one day. Everything went wrong, I did it all right. I did it right. Why didn’t it work? Why didn’t it work?” His grip on her hand began to hurt, but she didn’t want to let go. She knew in the way he trembled that if she even dared leaving, it would backfire. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>HIs breathing had turned raspy, but he didn’t stop murmuring that he had done everything right, that it wasn’t his fault. He said it over and over again, as if repeating it would change what had happened. Again and Again, he repeated that he had followed the rules, that he had done what he knew how, so why was it him that had to suffer?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kjersti held his hand even still, despite the pain, and she reached for his other hand. “Andrej? Andrej, please look at me. You’re okay, no one will hurt you ever again.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His gaze shakily rose, but he couldn’t hold her gaze for long before he was back to looking at the ground, shaking like a wet dog in December. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She wrapped her arms around him, thankful he hadn’t flinched before she just sat there. She wanted nothing more than to just comfort him, but she didn’t even know what had done this to him. There was only so much she could do to help, so she just sat there and held him, hands running through his hair and whispering calming words to him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He had shifted to hold onto her, his grip still as tight and riddled with the fear of the things he had seen, the pain he had felt. He was quieter now, only mumbling ‘no’ over and over again until he was completely silent and his arms had loosened in their grip. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kjersti wanted to know why he still had these photos if they brought him so much agony, but some part of her already knew why. If you missed something, someone, you’d grasp at anything you could to remind you of them. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry,” He croaked out, but he didn’t once make a move to let her go or move away. If anything, his grip tightened ever so slightly, but not enough to hurt like before. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Don’t… Don’t apologise for any of this, Andy.” It felt oddly appropriate to give him a nickname, just like he had done with her. It was sad she didn’t know any birds that would fit him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He fell quiet again before slowly, and hesitantly, pulling away from her. He didn’t know what to do with himself, but he averted his attention to the sketchbook, shakily offering it to her. “Keep it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why? There are still some pages left…. Don’t you want to finish it first?” She pushed it back towards him, a gentle smile on her face. “You’re a really good artist. I’m flattered you chose me as your muse.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He let out a halfhearted, airy chuckle. “How could I not? Du bist zu schön, um nicht zu zeichnen.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She pursed her lips. “You’re tired. You should rest, Andy. I’ll stay with you if it’ll make you feel better?” She offered, setting the sketchbook aside to give him room if he does decide that he wants to sleep. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Y -You can just send Vicks up,” He shook his head lightly, “you’ve done enough for me already.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Andrej, I don’t mind it. You’re my friend. I want to help you, pay you back for paying for my stay here.” She shook her head lightly, biting her lip ever so slightly as she thought of ways she could get him to trust her just a little bit more. “I will stay.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You are as stubborn as a mule, Nightingale, but if that is your choice, I will not stop you.” He shoved his shoes off of his feet before laying on his side, closest to the wall and with his back towards her. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kjersti sighed heavily, feeling her heart shatter at the way he had just moved away from her. Was this what it was like growing up? She brushed the hurt off before pulling the sheets back onto the bed, covering him as best she could given how he wedged himself against the wall. She remained seated on the edge of the bed, and she grabbed the sketchbook to just look through it once more. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>After a while, she had shifted to lay down, but after that she didn’t remember much else other than how soft and comforting the bed was. No doubt specific to his needs with his skin, but she didn’t even recall her own bed being this nice. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Briefly throughout the night as she slept, she recalled waking up and seeing Andrej working on something, but she would always fall right back asleep before she could see what he was working on. It was almost as if each time she opened her eyes, something different was going on until eventually, she stayed asleep until morning.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She was alone, cocooned within the blankets that she must’ve stolen from Andrej during the night. In his place, however, was the sketchbook with a bookmark crammed into it. She couldn’t help the blaring curiosity that told her to look at the bookmark, so she did. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Another drawing of her, this time from when she had helped him the night before. She was depicted as an angelic like being however, maybe representing how much she had meant to him for staying? It was just as beautiful as the others, and it meant the whole world. She set it asides, ignoring the box of photos this time as she left for her own room. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kjersti changed into a blue floral print dress with matching shoes, one of the only nice things she had managed to grab, before she headed downstairs. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Andrej was seated near the window, amidst the scattered pillows and blankets that kept the children comfortable. She remained in the doorway for a moment, just staring at him. She wondered if the butterflies in her stomach meant anything, and if the way she felt when she looked at him was how he felt every time he saw her and decided to draw her.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Good morning, Nightingale.” He cocked his head to the side, staring at her with a soft smile. “I take it you slept well?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kjersti was careful to remain quiet as she stepped around children to sit across from him. “I did sleep well, thank you for asking. What about you?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He hesitated before answering, “It was a lot better than most nights, but most nights I don’t typically tucker myself out. I apologize for my behavior last night. It was not my attention to react so negatively. I will do better next time.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Don’t. Just don’t, alright? Don’t apologize for what happened. I’m sorry for snooping, I just got curious.” She looked down, focusing her attention onto her dress. “I’m just glad you’re okay.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Andrej looked at her, head tilted as he decided what he would say next. “Why did you do it? Stay, I mean. Most would try to send me away to the asylum to wither away, but you… you stayed and helped. Why?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kjersti kept her gaze away, looking at everything that </span>
  <em>
    <span>wasn’t</span>
  </em>
  <span> the charming man across from her. She had come to love his company, to even wish that she could just openly be his friend, but some part of her knew that there was something more to why she had chosen to stay rather than getting Vicki who might have known how to deal with something like that more appropriately. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She bit her lip, leg bouncing beneath the table. “I…. I think I like you, okay? And I just… I didn’t want you to suffer and be alone…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Andrej’s face changed, and for once he was pleasantly surprised. He smiled, then crossed his legs. He was thinking.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Kjersti, you’re seventeen. You know as well as I do that even if you did </span>
  <em>
    <span>like</span>
  </em>
  <span> me for real, you’d have to be eighteen to even attempt pursuing anything.” He held his hand up to prevent her from saying anything else. “I appreciate the sentiments, far more than I think you will ever realize. You’re young, and as far as love goes, this crush might not mean anything more. You deserve the world, but you will not find it chasing after me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“But I like </span>
  <em>
    <span>you</span>
  </em>
  <span>, at least I think, and hope, I do!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Kjersti, I’ll make you a deal. If you still like me by time you’re eighteen, I’ll take you on a date and we’ll see where things go from there, yes? If, by then, you have fallen for another, we will forget this conversation ever happened and continue as friends. Is that alright for you?” The soft gaze Andrej held showed that he did not belittle nor find her affections funny. He wanted only what was best for her.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why are you even giving me a chance if you aren’t so sure I’ll still like you by then?” She looked up at him, searching his face for hints at an answer, one she may like or even one she may hate.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Because feelings are nothing to be toyed with, Kjersti. They mean something, however big or small, they always mean something. I’m giving you the chance to figure them out.” He answered simply, shrugging. “I know you hate being treated like a child, so I will treat you like an adult. If an adult had these feelings towards me, but they are unsure, I would give them this deal.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kjersti pursed her lips, but smiled bashfully when she had heard his words. “I… I accept that deal, Andrej. But…. can I ask something though?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Of course, Kjersti.” He bowed his head lightly. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, two things actually, um, why are you so kind and considerate?” She couldn’t hide the excitement of her question, and the answer she hoped to receive. “Then, uh, can you teach me to draw?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Only if you can bring me back that raspberry chocolate cake from Aunt Marie’s.” He cracked a grin, just as excited at the prospect of getting another slice of cake. “And it’s because I know what it’s like to be hurt, I know rejection and what it’s like to be with someone you stopped loving long ago. It’s unfair and I don’t want it to happen to anyone else.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She nodded, finding his excitement about the cake adorable and charming. She couldn’t deny him after such a cute reaction. “Life’s been unfair to you, but I hope there’s enough cake in the world to make you feel better.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kjersti was sure her heart might’ve exploded throughout this entire conversation, and while everything felt a million times better, and different than before, she wondered if it felt that way to him. She thought nothing of it and decided to just get the cake before he changed his mind.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. world on fire with a burning sun</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>
    <span>Dear Mom and Dad, </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>It’s late. June 29, 1936 and you would not BELIEVE what’s happened. Grandma kicked me out BUT IT’S OKAY, I PROMISE. I don’t want to write too much since the mail lady threw a fit when i sent an overly thick letter last year, so I’ll try and share as much as I can. I have a place to stay, Grandma just got upset because my new friend isn’t someone who she approves of. He’s perfectly fine, he’s well mannered, very artistic and sweet. I don’t think I’ve ever met someone as nice as he is, but I think he would chalk that up to experiencing the things he has. He looks different, but he’s still just as sweet as everyone else. He offered to teach me to draw, too. You should see the things he’s drawn! They’re so beautiful!</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I’m getting off track a little. I wanted to ask if you’re even getting these letters? I’ve been sending  them since you first sent me here in May and I haven’t even heard anything back. Is everything alright back home? How’s Jonathan? I wish you’d write back sometime. I miss you. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>sincerely,</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Kjersti</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She folded her short letter and tucked it away into the envelope, sealing it and putting a stamp on it. The address was already written, now all she had to do was send it out, granted the rain would allow her that chance. One thing she didn’t pack was an umbrella, which in hindsight would’ve been significantly helpful. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey, Andy, you happen to have an umbrella?” She poked her head into Andrej’s room, silently hoping he would be mid drawing. He wasn’t, but he was reading the newspaper which was </span>
  <em>
    <span>something</span>
  </em>
  <span> she supposed. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He looked up, a brow raised ever so slightly. “An umbrella? No. The rain feels nice on my skin, I usually just accept my fate. Why?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I have a letter I want to send out, </span>
  <em>
    <span>duh</span>
  </em>
  <span>.” She put her hands on her hips before moving to sit beside him on his bed, eyes taking in the many words the newspaper had to offer. “Did you take the funnies out?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, Crow grabbed them. Good luck getting him to hand them over if that’s what you want to read.” He snickered lightly, shaking his head. “It is a dark time for us, today. They passed a bill keeping us from voting. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Gut, dass ich kein Bürger bin</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Does anything in the newspaper ever have a happy ending?” She grumbled, reading only half of the article since Andrej seemed to be hiding the other portion. “Because It’s safer? That seems like a bullshit reason to keep people from voting!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He stared at her for a moment before shaking his head. “It is not </span>
  <em>
    <span>so</span>
  </em>
  <span> bad, there are places in the North that have authorized the capture of anyone that looks like a ‘monster’ and, depending on how monstrous they look, they’ll be tested on, operated and cut open. It’s certainly not bad here, but you learn to appreciate and savor the small things.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How is this any better? Wouldn’t you rather be treated like </span>
  <em>
    <span>real</span>
  </em>
  <span> humans and not some defect? It’s dumb and unfair!” She muttered quietly, a bit nervous at the idea of him even </span>
  <em>
    <span>thinking</span>
  </em>
  <span> about leaving. “They fear what they don’t know, but then they refuse to learn, they shouldn’t use that as an okay to cut people open.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ah, I’ll sooner be returning home to Germany than get tangled in an even bigger mess, so don’t look so concerned.” He snickered lightly and flipped the page. “Have you seen or heard about those conjoined twins, ah, Flora and Fauna I think their names were?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes. I saw them in the newspaper before I came here. Flora and Fauna always seem to be the go to name for identical twin sisters. It’s weird.” She scrunched up her face before looking at the article he was mentioning. She felt sick. “Oh, Lord, that’s just not right…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“They don’t care about what’s wrong and what’s right, Nightingale, they only want to do things they believe could ” He answered quietly, brow furrowed in concentration as he read the only thing that interested him that wasn’t brutal killings of people like him. “The people here in town are restless, you know. They know we are here and they want us gone, they want us dead, but it is not us I worry for, but the children? What would happen to them?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Nothing will happen to them. Nothing will happen to </span>
  <em>
    <span>you</span>
  </em>
  <span>.” Kjersti wasn’t sure if she could believe her own words, but she didn’t want to see him being hurt all because the people refused to give him and the others a chance. She wanted to hope, to believe that he would be okay, but with the world as it was, she wasn’t sure if any of them would be okay. She had to think of something to protect them.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Whatever it is you’re thinking, don’t.You’ve sacrificed so much already, I cannot ask you to do anything more. This fight is a dangerous one, you could get hurt and if that happened, I would never forgive myself for.” He shut down any sort of plan that was brewing in her mind, as if he had already known what sort of chaos bubbled in her mind. “And, no, you cannot commit arson either.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I </span>
  <em>
    <span>wasn’t</span>
  </em>
  <span> going to commit arson, okay. I’m </span>
  <em>
    <span>offended</span>
  </em>
  <span> you even thought that way. I was just going to suggest something small and not violent in any way, shape, or form.” She snorted, a small smile on her face. “But seriously, Andrej, what will happen if anything happens to </span>
  <em>
    <span>you</span>
  </em>
  <span>?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He was silent, even folding his newspaper and setting it aside to focus on his answer. “If something happens to me, life goes on. Vicki knows what to do from there. It’s not ideal, but we know the life we lead and the dangers it brings. I’m sure you have other friends to enjoy life with.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, I don’t actually, so try not to die and I’ll try not to kill anyone who tries to hurt you guys.” She said it so casually that it had spooked her, but she knew there was truth behind it. If it meant getting people to listen, she’d do whatever she could. “Okay, maybe I </span>
  <em>
    <span>wouldn’t</span>
  </em>
  <span> kill someone but you speak as if moving on is easy. It’s not and it won’t be.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“If anything should happen to me, I do not want you to get yourself involved. You must not, under any circumstances, let yourself get caught in the crossfire. On the off chance anything does happen, I would prefer it that you go home and be safe, okay?” He was amused by her stubbornness, but he truly wanted her to be as safe as possible.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She stared at him in quiet annoyance before she sighed. “Do you always have to make things so complicated? But </span>
  <em>
    <span>fine</span>
  </em>
  <span>, I’ll sit back and do nothing.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Do you always have to be so stubborn? I just don’t want you to get hurt, silly.” He bit his lip, hiding the amusement that was beginning to form. “I have some errands I need to run today, I could bring your letter to the post office for you, if you’d like?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Mm, that’d be nice, thank you. Could you also… maybe… try to see if I still even have a job at Madame’s shop?” She sighed lightly, leaning her head back with a quiet groan. “I need to decide if I should celebrate or not -”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Andrej snorted, eyes widened in slight alarm at the noise he had made. “Yeah, s - sorry... I’ll be sure to check. I’ll see if there’s a sketchbook for you in there too, so you can have your very own. I appreciate the little doodles in mine, but I like having whole pages to draw things on. Your doodles are cute, though.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Aw, thanks,” She shrugged loosely before rolling her eyes, “if it wasn’t raining, I’d suggest doing something when you get back.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You could try befriending Crow, if that’s something you want to attempt. He’ll be a bit </span>
  <em>
    <span>rude </span>
  </em>
  <span>so don’t hold that against him.” He shook his head, tossing the newspaper to the side as he wormed himself from beside her to pick up something from his desk. “Is there anything else you want me to get while I’m out?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes, if I do in fact have no job at Madame’s, get me some cake. I would like to celebrate my freedom.” She spared him a lazy grin, sprawling out on his bed. “Is your bed soft because of your skin? Or is there some sort of favoritism going on here?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He snorted. “It’s for my skin. The softer the bed, the easier it is for me to be comfortable, even on my off days.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She sat up, tilting her head to the side as she looked at him. “Your skin is looking a lot better than it did a few days ago. Try to pay attention when it bleeds, okay? I don’t want to have to be stubborn again.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay, okay, I’ll try to pay attention when it bleeds, but I can’t make any promises. Now, fork the letter over, I’m getting ready to head out.” He held his hand out for her letter, keeping his gaze on the other item he had grabbed. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She fumbled for the letter she had shoved into her pocket before coming in and placed it into his hand. “Thanks, Andy, you’re the best!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes, yes, I know. No need to remind me.” He smiled at that before turning away, heading towards the door. “Don’t touch anything and don’t break anything. I should be back in an hour or so. If I’m not, send Vicks for me and </span>
  <em>
    <span>do not</span>
  </em>
  <span> come for me yourself.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She couldn’t stomach the burning feeling in her throat when he said to grab Vicks and stay, but she merely nodded and told him that was what she was to do should that happen. If it did happen, she couldn’t even lie to herself and say she’d stay. She felt as if now there was something to prove, something to sway his favor to her. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was always Vicks. She always got to help Andrej when he needed it, </span>
  <em>
    <span>they</span>
  </em>
  <span> might as well be dating at this point. What if they were and Andrej was just relying on her falling out of love with him? Maybe he trusted Vicks more? Maybe it was because she was tiny?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Before you go, can I ask why you won’t let me come if you did get hurt?” She nervously looked up at him, hoping her words didn’t betray how she was feeling. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He paused, half in the room and half in the hallway. “You’re a small woman, Kjersti. They are big, cruel people. If you stand up for me, they will hurt you too, they will hurt you in ways you didn’t even know were possible. I look out for my friends, I look out for my people. I will not let anything happen to you, regardless of the price to pay.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Andrej had left before she could question why </span>
  <em>
    <span>Vicks</span>
  </em>
  <span>, who was only tall, could protect him. This world was dangerous for people like him, so why should it be so difficult to assume that </span>
  <em>
    <span>maybe</span>
  </em>
  <span> an easy solution might be having someone “normal” on your side? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>With her feelings in a complicated mess, she headed back to her room, throwing herself onto the bed. Was the issue truly the fact that she was too small to do any damage, that she would be more of a nuisance than any help? Why did she have to be so small then, if she had such a drive to fight and protect?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Andrej had given her a few papers from his own sketchbook to draw on, and while she only went as far as heads and facial features, she decided to draw what might have been her if she was not small. It turned into a mediocre drawing of Vicki. Had she really stooped so low? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kjersti decided it would be in her best interest if she just went outside to the porch. She didn’t want to be in the rain, but she didn’t want to be cooped up inside while everything around her practically drowned. Being a plant seemed so easy. You don’t have to worry about crushing on someone that won’t even return the feelings. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s cold out here.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Beside her, just a little ways down the porch, stood Crow. His black hair was messy and covered his face for the most part, but beneath it all you could see the sickly pale skin. She wondered if that was why he had been left in Andrej’s care. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It is, yes. But it’s nice. Gives a nice change of scenery.” She shrugged in response, returning her gaze to the muddy ground just beyond the porch. “What have you been up to so far, Crow?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sleeping.” When he looked at her, there was a vacant darkness in his eyes, as if he was there, but the rest of him wasn’t. “You won’t ever be really part of the family, you know. Andrej only has you here because he feels as if he owes you that much. He doesn’t like you, none of them do.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kjersti stared at him and wondered where exactly all that had come from. Of course it hurt, it hurt more than she had ever expected it to, but this was Crow. He was known for being like this as far as she was concerned. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He likes Miss Vicki more than you. I can bet you he’s with her right now. She left not too long ago. She’s probably with him.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That alone seemed to play at her heartstrings, specifically the ones that held reign over her crush on Andrej. Perhaps he </span>
  <em>
    <span>was</span>
  </em>
  <span> right, perhaps Vicki was with Andrej and perhaps he did love her and that was that. Perhaps she didn’t belong here, after all? THese were not her people, these people would not trust her half as much as they trusted Andrej. So, why bother? She doesn’t belong here, to even want to be here with them felt wrong.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kjersti didn’t bother staying for much longer. She hated the rain, the way it made her skin crawl, but it had never looked so inviting before. She headed into the rain, mud seeping into her shoes and hair sticking to her face and neck. It was cold, but the tears she felt slip made it a million times worse. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She walked in silence as the rain seeped into everything she wore until she reached the one place she really wanted to be. The lake. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>If what Crow said was true, there was no point in staying, and there certainly wasn’t a point to always stressing and worrying over Andrej’s health and safety when he already had someone like Vicki. It’s not like Andrej would mind, especially considering he had bigger things to worry about that had nothing to do about her. Whether Crow’s words held truth in them or not, she was childish to believe she could be with someone like him and fit in with his people. Maybe she was reading too many romance novels, or having too many dreams.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She lost track of time. She didn’t even remember being out here for that long, but the moment she had zoned back into the world, it wasn’t raining anymore. She was still cold, painfully aware of her body shivering and her teeth chattering together. Her shoes were lodged into the mud, sticky and ruined. She liked that pair, or used to, before this. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Her head hurt and so did everything else. She felt like dying, or getting sick, whichever came first. She still felt terrible at the words Crow had said, and now she understood why he wanted to be called that. He was just as vicious as they could be. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The walk home felt a million times worse without her shoes, but she felt better the moment the hotel came into view. She just wanted to disappear into her room and avoid everything. Around her. Maybe then she would feel better. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She dropped her shoes by the door, figuring they were beyond fixing. No one seemed to notice she had been gone, the laughter and enjoyment from the main room made that fairly obvious. She simply headed up to her room, making sure to be quiet enough not to bother anyone. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There was a small cake, a sketchbook, and some pencils on her desk when she entered the room. She wasn’t sure how she felt, now that she was fired, but it was a bittersweet victory that would taste better if she wasn’t so cold. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The cake was chocolate, so she knew Andrej would like it the most. She cut a small piece for herself, silently eating it before she left the rest in Andrej’s room, knowing he’d act the same cute way he always did when he got cake. She stared at the sketchbook for a while before sketching out a body, like she had seen Andrej do, but of course, it was nothing like how he did it and she doubted if she’d ever be as good as he is. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Who was he to draw her so beautifully anyways? It wasn’t like she actually looked that way, it wasn’t possible. Her imperfections </span>
  <em>
    <span>weren’t</span>
  </em>
  <span> beautiful, they weren’t supposed to be. How could he draw her and make her think otherwise? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Something in her mind told her to change out of the soaking wet clothing she was in, but she was just too tired to even bother. She pulled the pillows and blankets to the floor, avoiding getting more things wet, and just fell asleep there. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Time ceased to exist again. Briefly she heard a voice, or two, but maybe that was because she forgot to close the door. She wasn’t sure, but didn’t care. She just wanted to be sad forever now that she realized how foolish she had been to love someone like him, or even entertain the thought that he’d return the affections, even when she did turn eighteen. Amazing how foolish one can be when someone points it out. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>-</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kjersti woke up, still in her disgusting wet clothes. She didn’t dream anything and woke feeling worse than before she had even gone to sleep. She couldn’t tell if it was early morning or nighttime, but that was fine with her. Everything was fine. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She changed into something more comfortable, and despite the raging headache and the sniffles, she climbed back into bed. She buried herself under the covers, hoping it would make this </span>
  <em>
    <span>new</span>
  </em>
  <span> bad feeling go away. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Vicks told me Crow said something to you earlier.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The voice came from the doorway and that’s how she knew it was definitely still daytime. Andrej didn’t strike Kjersti as someone to be up at night talking about a stupid kid saying stupid things. Why did he even bother with coming here? She wished he had just stayed with Vicki. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Go away, Diefenbach, not in the mood.” She grumbled, shifting to pull the blanket over her head until all she could see was darkness.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He said something mean, didn’t he? Why, I ought to whack that boy silly, but you’re sick and evidently my top priority. Would you like some soup?” Damn his caring nature. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Don’t need soup.” In truth, she would’ve liked to have some soup. It would’ve made everything feel a million times better, but </span>
  <em>
    <span>he</span>
  </em>
  <span> was offering it. It was because she loved him that she was even in this spot in the first place. She wished she had never walked to that lake. Maybe everything would be okay.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know he said something mean to you, Nightingale, no use hiding it. I promise whatever he said isn’t true.” He sighed, although she wondered if he was annoyed and losing patience or sighed because he had to. “You know I’ll do my best to help you as you’ve done with me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Because I’m some stupid child who believed in some dumb fantasy! That’s why I’m upset! Just leave me alone!” She hadn’t meant to snap so viciously, but what was said was said, and as much as she wished God would just smite her right then and there, it never came. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You are not and never will be a stupid child. You are smart, brave, and wonderful. I’ll be here if you need me, okay?” Then he was gone, footsteps receding back into his own room. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She sat upright, ignoring the pain from her throbbing head to stare at the door where Andrej had stood mere seconds ago. She didn’t mean it, she didn’t mean it. She was just annoyed, and he was pressing. She didn’t mean to snap -</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Maybe it </span>
  <em>
    <span>was</span>
  </em>
  <span> too bold of her to assume that she could ever be treated as an adult, after all, she was still a child compared to him. Yes, she decided, one too many romance novels. It was time to grow up, move on, and find someone she actually had a chance with. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was late when she had packed her bags, she realized that when the moon shone through the window. An unwelcome guest on this sad night as she sat at her desk, deciding what her note to Andrej would say. She had already thrown several papers away in the process, but maybe tenth times a charm?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I wasted several pieces of paper trying to figure out how to do this, but I guess here it is. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I’m sorry for snapping at you. Crow said some things that made me question everything and I’m sorry I took that out on you. You’ve done nothing but be kind to me. I just need some time to think, okay? I’m sorry for everything and I know you mean well, you’re the nicest person I’ve ever met and I will never ever forget that. Right now, maybe you were right. Maybe I should just return home for a little while. I’m sorry.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>kjersti</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sliding it under his door, she grabbed the remainder of her things and made her way home. Traveling at night was terrifying and some part of her thought she was going to be killed, but she’d rather that than return home. And despite her wishes, she was too lucky to be murdered on her walk home, instead reaching her house in once piece to be greeted by her grandmother. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I </span>
  <em>
    <span>knew</span>
  </em>
  <span> you’d be back. Come to give up all that devilish nonsense?” Hands on her hips, Helga waited patiently for an answer. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It broke her heart to say it, to abandon Andrej, but she nodded. “Yes. I’ve given it all up. I’m ready to move on now.” It was a lie, she wasn’t ready to move on at all, but what else was she to do?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Walking inside, Kjersti found it funny how everything had seemed to fall apart so quickly. Rome wasn’t built in a day, but it sure did fall in one, she supposed. She wondered if Andrej would wait for her,if he’d still look at her as an adult for making this decision and not judge her for it. She hoped that would be the case, but she knew the bed she had made and now it was time to lie in it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Helga made fast work of shoving Kjersti back into her room, a sickeningly sweet grin on her face as she went downstairs to presumably telephone her parents and update them or something. She just wanted to feel better, she just wanted to forget him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She fell asleep, but had no dreams. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>-</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Morning was bleak and just as boring as every day she had spent in the house prior. It was just another day in a place she didn’t want to be, but at least the ludicrous outfits Grandma seemed to shove her into were a stable constant in her life. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kjersti figured these dresses weren’t entirely necessary, but she figured it was Helga making up for the life she wished she had growing up. She felt empty, as if something was missing, but she made this decision. She wasn’t going to go back on it all because she was </span>
  <em>
    <span>lonely</span>
  </em>
  <span>, no, she had something to prove and she was determined to prove it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She headed downstairs and sat at the dining table, staring down at the breakfast that was set for her. Eggs, bacon, and toast. She didn’t remember the last time she had bacon, but it didn’t take very long for her to devour it like she hadn’t eaten anything in eons. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Slow down, Missy! There will be plenty more where that came from now that you’re back where you belong.” Grandma sat down across from her, a faux smile on her face. “Aren’t you glad you got to experience those heathens first hand? They’re atrocious aren’t they? I heard some of them proposition one of Gerald Atkins daughters. And their leader? Looks like Satan himself!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Andrej</span>
  </em>
  <span> was not atrocious. He was the sweetest man she had ever met, and it was painful to have accepted the fact that they just couldn’t be. She chose to act like this didn’t bother her. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know. I met a really nice one.” She shrugged, ignoring the offended gasp that someone </span>
  <em>
    <span>dare</span>
  </em>
  <span> disagree with the matriarch. “Not all of them are bad, Grandma. They’re just people too.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She pursed her lips. “You say that now, but just you wait. All them attacks on our very being? It’s them freaks, I tell you! They’re no good, Kjerstin, no good and today will be the day they pay! ”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kjersti winced. “My </span>
  <em>
    <span>name</span>
  </em>
  <span> is Kjersti, and… w - what do you mean by that? What do you mean they’ll pay? They haven’t done anything wrong…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Humph! This is what happens when you frolic about with those demons! You ignore the important things in life. It’s Red Day! The whole town has been talking about it!” She clicked her tongue in disappointment, clearly ashamed. “They’re going to attack any and all freaks that are out and about! Rid our town of those demons!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kjersti paled. Had she really missed this piece of news? It might have explained why there weren’t that many teenage boys causing a ruckus around town, especially if they were planning on murdering the freaks. Then, like a train would a car that stalled on the tracks, it hit her. </span>
  <em>
    <span>The children</span>
  </em>
  <span>. None of them knew about the children. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She couldn’t voice her terror to Helga, not now when she didn’t understand just what was at stake. She ate in silence before she pardoned herself from the table, under the guise of joining in on Red Night. She believed it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The streets were filled with boys and their guns, and their knives. They ran from door to door, announcing the start of the night without the freaks. Had this been in the newspaper the other day and Andrej just never said anything? Why would he strive so hard to hide this from her, if she was to find out later anyways? She trusted him, of course, but why did he do it all? She could help! </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A gunshot echoed through the air, followed by a scream, and suddenly she was running. The world around her was on fire and as she ran as fast and as far as her legs could carry her, she could see the world wither away. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Gunshots followed by bodies dropping in pools of their own blood littered the Earth around Kjersti as she ran, innocent people who wanted nothing other than to live their life in peace. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The city was on fire and Kjersti hadn’t realized it until it was too late. </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. it's called trauma</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>this chapter is definitely a trigger warning for graphic scenes of a violent nature</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Blood stained the streets, pouring from the bodies of dead freaks and non freaks alike. The metallic scent filled the air and Kjersti was certain the taste in her mouth was just as metallic and sickening as the air around her. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She had seen things she had wished she never had. Bodies torn apart, guts oozing and sputtering warm blood everywhere. Flesh being viciously torn apart and ravaged by creatures lucky enough to stumble in on this mess. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Crushed skulls, brains splattered and squished against the concrete and the growing pools of the sticky red liquid she had walked through to stand here, in the middle of the silent chaos. She half registered the distant cries of an infant before her feet began moving. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was 1936, near August, and the should-be chilly hair was sticky and hot with the souls of all the murdered innocents and any one of them could be Andrej. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There was a gun on the ground by the sidewalk, a shotgun. She grabbed it, checking for ammo, and when she was sure there was enough ammo to protect her from whatever may come for her, she trudged forward. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She ignored the screams for help. She ignored the gunshots that seemed to grow closer, and even the revving of an engine. She ignored it all, but not the loud thump of her heart in her ears as she staved off the negative thoughts that told her Andrej was dead already, not the fear that clung to her bones and told her to run and hide.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She quickened her pace once she heard the familiar sound of the German - something she knew was spoken by one person in this entire town. It didn’t sound so much like it normally did, it sounded angry and terrified all at once. It was enough to get her to break out into a sprint until she reached the noise. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A sob left her lips as she saw the carnage, and the scene that was unfolding before her very eyes as they beat him senseless. Blood spewed from his lips, from his skin, from his nose. They just kept on kicking and bashing until they had grabbed a rope. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>And death shall have no dominion. Man, with soul naked, shall be one</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Andrej’s voice came out raspy, muffled by the blood and the dirt his face laid against as they yanked him backwards onto his knees. Then, he saw her, barely hidden with nothing but fear on her face. “</span>
  <em>
    <span>Meine Nachtigall, meine Nachtigall, so klein und doch so mutig.</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <span>There were four of them. Three armed with guns and one with a knife. They were all too focused on tying the noose around Andrej’s neck, choking him until he could do nothing but kick weakly. She cocked the gun, aiming it at the man who was tightening the rope around Andrej’s neck. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She needed to save him, before it was too late. They didn’t see her coming. Not when that first shot fired, nor the others that followed after until there was one left. He stood, watching Kjersti with all the fear in his eyes when he let the rope go, fumbling for something that wasn’t a knife. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Go home.” Kjersti choked back a sob, shotgun barren of bullets. There was only one thing she could do now, and she wasn’t sure she could do it even if she had no other choice. “You know what I have to do if you don’t.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What? What are you gonna do, freak-lover? Are you gonna whine and cry that your little boyfriend is getting hurt?” He sneered, tossing his knife between both hands as he prepared to attack. “Do you know what we do to freak-lovers like you, Missy? The same thing we did to that Atkins girl.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kjersti registered the weak form of Andrej getting up from his position, but not before she connected the butt of the shotgun into the man’s head, repeatedly bashing his head as the warm red liquid splashed against her face with each hit. The crunch of his bones meeting the hardness of the gun worsened each time she brought it back down, like a hammer of judgement. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Warm hands wrapped around hers, forcing her to let the gun go. Brutalized hands, belonging to the only freak she could ever kill for, tightened around hers, pulling her close to his chest as he tried his hardest to remain standing upright. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Nightingale, </span>
  <em>
    <span>you’re alright</span>
  </em>
  <span>. You can rest now, I promise.” The moment he had spoken, despite the weakness and pain of it all, she had burst into full blown sobs, collapsing against Andrej as she slid to the ground. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Shh, it’s okay, Nightingale, it’s okay… I’m okay.” He hid the pain that came with how tight she held onto him, knowing this fear all too well. “We need to go, Kjersti, it’s not safe…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She looked at him, water meshing with the blood that stained her face. “I - I can’t…. I can’t move my feet…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He wiped the blood from his face and tore the sleeve of his shirt to wipe the blood off of her face. There was immense sadness in his eyes when he looked upon her, the regret of getting her entangled in the mess of his curse. He said nothing at first before he tossed the bloodied former sleeve to the side, sparing her a warm smile.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“There’s my Nightingale,” He poked her nose before looking over his shoulder, paranoid. He turned back to her, his own body heaving with overexertion and pain, then he hooked an arm under her legs and the other around her back, hoisting her up. It was clear this alone was hurting him quite a bit, but he refused to let that stop him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kjersti hadn’t stopped sobbing, clinging to Andrej as if her very life depended on it, as if it would keep him from disappearing. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“A - Andrej, you’re h - hurting -!” She rubbed her eyes, wiping the tears away as she tried her best to keep herself together long enough to not break out sobbing again. “P - Put me down… I think I’m fine now -”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He wanted to argue, but the pain in his side told him to listen, so he did. He set her down, leaning against her for a moment while a hand curled around his abdomen. He cursed under his breath.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“A - Andrej? Y - You alright?” Her voice had never been so quiet, it had surprised her, but she </span>
  <em>
    <span>needed</span>
  </em>
  <span> to make sure he was alright before going any further. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Y - Yeah, I’m good, but we need to get out of here.” He looked around them for a moment before beckoning for her to follow him. “Come on, I know a way back…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You need to sit down! You’re h - hurt!” She grabbed onto his sleeve, pulling him onto the bench. “We need to find a car or something… Did the guys who hurt you have a car or something? Maybe we can steal that.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Blue truck, down the street.” He nodded, moving both his arms to shield his ribcage. “Do you even know how to drive, Kjersti?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Regardless of the answer I give you, you are </span>
  <em>
    <span>not</span>
  </em>
  <span> driving.” Through the panic that threatened to pool over again, she kept her worry on Andrej who, for the first time since they had met, had let his entire stoic guard down. It was clear she needed to get him help, but she wasn’t sure she wanted to leave him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He waved his hand dismissively. “G - Go, it’s only a small wound, small ouchie -”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She wasn’t five, but she appreciated the way he had worded it, and it </span>
  <em>
    <span>did</span>
  </em>
  <span> ease her worries a little bit. She was quick to return to the scene, although this time she did her best to avoid the bodies. The truck wasn’t too far from where they were, and luckily for her, the windows had been rolled down and the keys were in the seat. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kjersti had </span>
  <em>
    <span>no</span>
  </em>
  <span> idea how to drive, but she was certain it beat letting Andrej drive with the amount of injuries he had sustained - an image she was sure would never leave her mind with his words forever echoing as well. She shook her head, pushing the thoughts away for the time being as she started the truck, driving it to the bench where she had left Andrej at. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He was still there, in the same position, but he was still alive and she was thankful for that. He seemed to be praying, muttering to himself. He didn’t notice her at first, and she felt out of place to be bothering him while he did so. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh,” He seemed surprised when he looked up, “were you waiting? Sorry…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s alright, come on, got the truck ready. Can you stand?” She didn’t wait for a response, instead offering herself as a way of balance that he - thankfully - accepted. “Just try to relax, alright? Do you want me to take you back to the hotel?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Y - Yeah, that’d be great… </span>
  <em>
    <span>Es tut mir so Leid</span>
  </em>
  <span>…. It shouldn’t have been you…” He said nothing else as he practically hobbled to the passenger side of the truck with Kjersti’s guidance. Once he was in, he was quick to just lay down, legs propped up on the seat. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kjersti settled into the driver’s seat, although Andrej’s height meant that in order for him to even be slightly comfortable, his head would need to be in his lap. She wasn’t entirely sure if he was even comfortable that way, and she had hoped her driving would be comfortable for him. She couldn’t spare the time to constantly look down and ask him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She drove in silence, running a hand through Andrej’s hair every now and again, more for her own comfort than anything else. It terrified her. It terrified her to know that </span>
  <em>
    <span>this</span>
  </em>
  <span> was what her town could be like. She assumed this might have been why her parents left.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Little Nightingale is no longer so little, hm?” Andrej let out a small raspy chuckle. “You never should’ve gotten involved… I’m sorry…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“P - Please don’t… just save your energy… </span>
  <em>
    <span>please</span>
  </em>
  <span>.” She glanced down at him, sparing him a gentle yet anxious smile. “I’m just glad you’re okay.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Still…. I wish you didn’t have to do this.”</span>
  <span></span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Neither he or Kjersti said anything else for the rest of the ride and when they had arrived at their destination, Vicki and a few of the others were quick to pull Andrej from the truck and inside to get the care he needed. Kjersti stood just outside the building then, and just like that, she was exhausted. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She fell, barely being caught in time by one of the people helping bring Andrej inside.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I got you, Miss -”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>-</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She opened her eyes from a dreamless sleep. Everything hurt more than she had expected it to, and even working the effort to sit up felt like someone had set fire to her muscles, yet she did it anyways. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kjersti noted she was back in her room before she had returned to Helga, but one thing was definitely different. Everything felt off, like each movement she made, the room moved in response. It made her feel sick, so she just laid back down until she fell asleep again. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When she next awoke, she felt a lot better and had even gone as far as standing up. Memories of the Red Night’s events flashed in her mind, including the horrifying sight of Andrej getting beat so… </span>
  <em>
    <span>ruthlessly</span>
  </em>
  <span>. She was certain he was lucky to be alive.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The hall was short and his room was not too, so she walked the quiet walk to Andrej’s room where the man in question was practically wearing a shirt of bandages, still in bed but very much alive and well.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How are you feeling…?” She grumbled quietly, rubbing her eyes as she watched him craned to look at her, a warm smile on his face and a pleasant look in his eyes.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sleeping Beauty has awakened! I was starting to worry.” He beckoned for her to come in, waving her worry off. “I’m still alive, something I am eternally grateful for. How do you feel? You must be hungry -”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You worry about me more than anyone else,” She snorted lightly, wandering closer to sit in the chair besides his bed, “I’m doing alright, it feels like I got hit by a truck, but I’m good. Just worried about </span>
  <em>
    <span>you</span>
  </em>
  <span>.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I could worry about you some more if you’d like? But I assure you, I’m doing alright. Few broken ribs, but I’m glad you’re okay and alive. I could never forgive myself. You shouldn’t have gotten entangled into this mess in the first place.” He sighed softly, his eyes making it clear he was just so tired of having to put up with all this pain, all this hate. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Please, I’d be thankful for the worry.” She muttered, sparing him a small smile. “No use wishing about all that now, I’m in for the long run. You’re </span>
  <em>
    <span>stuck</span>
  </em>
  <span> with me, Diefenbach. Like a koala baby or something.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I wouldn’t want to be stuck with anyone else, and I guess it’s a good thing I do so love koalas.” He smiled lightly before he shifted to roll onto his back. “You were out for four days, I was starting to wonder if I had to get up and wake you up.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Wait… four days? Oh </span>
  <em>
    <span>crap</span>
  </em>
  <span> -” For a brief moment she was shocked, then perplexed. “I missed my birthday… I’m officially eighteen, but everything hurts and I don’t want to do anything and I just want to lay down and cry and I murdered some guys and….. and I’m just </span>
  <em>
    <span>so</span>
  </em>
  <span> scared… does it ever go away, Andrej? The fear?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He pursed his lips, carefully deciding his response. “Ther fear doesn’t ever go away, Nightingale. I can’t promise that it will, but I can promise that it does get better. You did a lot that night, more than you ever should have done. You’re allowed to be afraid, you’re allowed to hurt, too, and that’s okay. It’s okay to hurt and want to lay down and cry. I understand your pain, and I </span>
  <em>
    <span>encourage</span>
  </em>
  <span> you to not bottle it all up.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I thought they…. I thought they had killed you, but…. But then you saw me and I just…. I got so angry and it just….. I couldn’t control it.” She was frustrated, angry that she had killed people without trying to find another way. “Can… Can I lay next to you? I just… I want to lay down for a while.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Of course,” He shifted to the side a bit, as best he could given his injuries, “I put you in a place and forced you to make a decision you never should have made…. I truly am sorry that it had to be you. I never wanted to pull you into this. I’m… surprised you didn’t decide to just leave.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She quietly lifted the covers, slipping in beside him. “Of course I stayed, I care about you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Caring doesn’t mean you’ll stay. In some cruel world, people think leaving someone makes it easier. Sometimes it does, sometimes it doesn’t.” He looked away, clearing his throat briefly. “I’m glad you stayed, though. It means a lot when someone as special as you cares. I wish there was a world of people who were as caring as you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I feel so guilty…. They had families and wives and children to feed. Maybe there was another way -” She shook her head lightly, then she looked at him. “Do you think I’ll go to Heaven after this?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, you need to live a long life full of happiness first, but I think you will. All you did was protect someone. They were not giving you a choice, Nightingale. What you did was honorable, you felt as if you had no choice and wanted to protect me. Why should he punish you for that?” He looked at her, a small smile on his face. “I’m eternally grateful to you, always remember that. You’re my little knight in the shiniest of armors.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She smiled at that, cheeks flushing. “You’re sweet, but </span>
  <em>
    <span>you’re</span>
  </em>
  <span> the one who made me that brave. I don’t think I ever would have done all that if I hadn’t met you. I would’ve been too nervous to speak out and it would’ve been too late. Give yourself some credit here.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I had nothing to do with that. You chose to give me a chance, I assure you. I’m the one who put you into this mess, who made you make decisions you shouldn’t have to make.” He shook his head lightly, smiling when she had yawned. “Rest some more. We both need it. I’ll be up for a bit longer.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kjersti fell asleep after that fairly quickly, but this time she had the bed to thank for that. She dreamt of a million things at once and for some reason there was a bear, but she wasn’t too certain. It only lasted a short while until she was greeted with the unforgiving scenes of Andrej’s near death, and the acts she had committed to rescue him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She jolted awake, feeling the bed shift beside her. She barely remembered where she was, but the fear of her dream clung to her like wet clothes. She’d burn in Hell for what she had done, yet it still felt like she had been too late to save him, as if he was already dead and this was but a dream. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The shaking in her hands and body wouldn’t stop and no matter what she did, trying to convince her own mind that everything was okay. She was certain if she hadn’t had looked to the side, she might definitely have believed that she was too late to save Andrej. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He slept peacefully, as if he hadn't nearly died and he was just exhausted from playing with the children. But she knew better than to think that. He was hurting, just as she was but to a greater extent, and she was amazed at the fact that he could look so peaceful after such an event, or maybe he was just too tired to dream of anything. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kjersti registered that he had shifted ever so slightly in response to her waking, but he himself showed no signs of waking. He was on his side now, facing her, with his arm tucked beneath his head and the other resting on his side. Peaceful, the exact opposite of what she felt. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Scooting closer to him, she sought refuge at his side. She didn’t intend on scooting so close to him, but she truthfully felt safe, and the longer she laid so close to him, the less she shook. A comforting feeling swarmed her, making her drowsy all over again, but she was too hungry to sleep. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She pulled herself from the bed, having to detach herself from his hold, before she made her way to the door. She didn’t remember being in more comfortable clothing than this, or that her face wasn’t covered in blood, but she figured Vicki must have helped with that.   </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There were freaks posted practically everywhere with guns in hand. By the windows, by the stairs, by the doors. Each guard posted stared at Kjersti when she passed, and as unnerving as it was, she just needed something to eat.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Vicki was down in the kitchen when she arrived, making something simple to eat.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re awake,” Vicki cleared her throat, watching Kjersti ransack the fridge, “there’s cake in there for you. Andrej told me it was your birthday after you had fallen asleep - it’s truly amazing what he will throw at you to get your attention. How are you feeling?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kjersti perked up at the cake, it wasn’t healthy but it was certainly something. “I’m as fine as I can be, I guess. Just can’t get over what had happened, I mean, I </span>
  <em>
    <span>should</span>
  </em>
  <span> have known something was off. It didn’t have to get this far.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, baby, it isn’t that easy.” Vicki shook her head and watched as she happily began munching on the cake. “Andrej always knew something might happen, he only had rumors and he didn’t want to worry you. We didn’t expect it to be this bad. No one did. You saved Andrej, I cannot even </span>
  <em>
    <span>begin</span>
  </em>
  <span> to tell you how thankful he is for it. Being who we are is hard, but we learn to get used to it, but you’re brand new to it all and this must’ve been like a truck hitting you. I’m sorry it wasn’t an easier transition.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I was scared they killed him. I… I just…. didn’t….I was just worried....” Kjersti looked down, not wanting to remember what could have easily been the last interaction with Andrej. “I didn’t want to lose the only person who looked at me like an equal - that didn’t do it because I was a frequent customer.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Vicki smiled and nodded. “I understand. Andrej runs this whole show, so I think he doesn’t bother with wondering what would happen to him should something dangerous occur. He always puts everyone else before him, but I know what you did for him… what you did to save him? You’ve done what I could not, and it’s done him some good, knowing there’s someone who cares about him to some degree has put some thought into his head.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She couldn’t hide the smile that was forming on her face. She </span>
  <em>
    <span>had</span>
  </em>
  <span> managed to save a stubborn man, which was better than the alternative. She was certain that had this been any other situation, he would have understandably scolded her for putting her life at risk, but he just seemed relieved that she was there to save the day. Though, she could hardly say that killing people was heroic, Andrej was okay and that’s all that mattered to her.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I was asleep for a while, so did he seem okay to you? What kind of injuries did he get?” She tilted her head, curious about the answer as she munched on the cake.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He had some broken ribs, some lacerations, bruising, and a lot of cuts.” She regarded the cake with a small smile. “He said it was your birthday, so I hurriedly put together something. I take it you like it?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Just wasn’t the best thing to have as the first meal since waking up.” Kjersti cleared her throat quietly before looking away. “Thank you for not, like, kicking me out after all that’s happened considering I’m not one of you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What someone looks like doesn’t decide whether they are one of us, Kjersti. It’s the willingness to help, the sacrifices made, the risks they take to prove that they care.” Vicki shook her head quickly, poofy hair moving with each shake. “You </span>
  <em>
    <span>are</span>
  </em>
  <span> one of us. The others are just mourning and recovering, but they know what you did for them, for </span>
  <em>
    <span>us</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thanks, Vicki,” She yawned loudly, rubbing her eyes, “I should probably get back to bed before I fall asleep here.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, before you do, I worked overtime to finish this! Wait here!” She skittered from the room, leaving Kjersti by herself which didn’t seem like much of a good idea once she started dozing off a little.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kjersti stumbled ever so slightly as she leaned against the counter, trying her hardest to stay awake long enough to see what Vicki had in store for her. When she thought she was just going to pass out cold right then and there, Vicki returned with a blanket that was relatively thick and soft looking. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Happy birthday, Kjersti!” She held the blanket out for her before chuckling. “You go on back to sleep, I’ll make sure everything is safe and all that.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay!” She returned the cake to the fridge before happily grabbing the blanket and wrapping it around her tiny frame. “Ooh, it’s just as soft and comfortable as I thought. Mm, this is very nice, thank you. I’m going back upstairs now, tomorrow we should really figure out a plan or something.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kjersti didn’t bother with waiting for a response or confirmation, she just headed upstairs and back into Andrej’s room, sliding back into her previous position with the added comfort of the blanket. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sneaking around, are we...?” A thick, German-accented voice resonated within the empty room, nearly scaring the daylights out of Kjersti. “You should be asleep.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I, um, I got hungry.” It wasn’t the only thing she wanted to say, but Andrej sounded too tired to put up with anything more than the answer she had offered. “Sorry to wake you…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Mm, ‘s alright…” He winced when he rolled onto his stomach, a soft squelching noise accompanied by a curse word following shortly after. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Your bandages. They need to be changed.” She immediately was awake and alert, ready to make sure Andrej wasn’t going to die in the next half hour. “Up, get up. You are </span>
  <em>
    <span>not</span>
  </em>
  <span> sleeping until I’m sure you’re fine!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Andrej slowly rolled onto his side, sitting up with a groan. “I’m </span>
  <em>
    <span>fine</span>
  </em>
  <span>, but I’m not going to argue with you. There are bandages on my desk.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She shuffled from the bed to the desk, grabbing the bandages and a few other items she thought would help if there was a lot more blood than expected. Silently, she undid the fastenings of the dirties bandages before tossing those into the trash to be dealt with later. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His skin was horribly bruised and torn in places, but it was nothing she hadn't seen before. She only worried that he was in more pain than he let on, even as she tightened the new bandages around his frame. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are you alright?” She looked up at him, gaze searching his face for anything that would tell her that he was hurting. She found nothing but the calmness in his eyes. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He grunted, tucking a strand of her hair behind her ear. “I hurt, a lot, right now if that’s what you were wanting to know. But it is a small price to pay, how are you feeling?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kjersti leaned into his touch, smiling when he let his hand come to rest at the side of her face, gentle and reassuring. “I don’t even know where to begin with how I’m feeling. I’m just glad you’re okay. Don’t be stupid and like die, okay? I don’t think I can handle it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A smile tugged at his lips, amused by her words. “I’ll try not to die, promise.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thank you, Andy.” She pressed her forehead against his, smiling down at him. “I’m glad you’re okay....”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>An airy chuckle left his lips in response. “I’m glad I’m okay, too. But that’s all thanks to you and your quick acting, is it not?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kjersti pursed her lips before her gaze flickered down to his own, wanting to do something she had not yet done before, but at the same time wondering if now was the appropriate time for it, until she felt him pull her head down, his warm lips pressing against hers.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Her whole body tensed, the feel of her frame leaning into his as his arms wrapped around her waist felt forbidden almost. He held her close, claiming her mouth again, hungry and intense, until her knees gave in and she moved to sit in his lap. Kjersti moved her hands, nestling them into his messy hair. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Pulling away to breathe, they stared at each other for a long while before their lips reconnected. Between the quiet giggles and the nonsensical German, something was brewing. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>-</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Morning brought a whole new batch of problems that wasn’t the increased embarrassment that had come from spending half the early morning before dawn kissing. A good portion of that time was Kjersti being too giggly to actually do any kissing and Andrej was just trying his hardest not to join in, but now it was back to business. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A majority of the remaining, recovered, freaks gathered in the main room while the children were elsewhere, focused on letting them keep their innocence. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We can’t sit here and let them </span>
  <em>
    <span>slaughter</span>
  </em>
  <span> us, you may have gotten one of us to understand us, but that changes nothing!” The simple sentence caused a majority of the room to explode in arguments and discussions, although the former was more likely. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kjersti had never seen Andrej look so utterly annoyed and pissed before that it was almost comical, and she wanted to offer input, but this didn’t seem like the best place or time to say anything if she valued her life.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Enough!” Andrej snapped, voice silencing the room with ease. “There has been enough death and loss. Retaliating will only fuel their hatred for us, so for now, unless it is absolutely necessary, avoid the town square. The outskirts are your safest bet if you have visual abnormalities, or any that are too difficult to hide. Stick together and travel in pairs or groups. We will not, under any circumstances, retaliate. Understand?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A ripple of murmurs filled the room, and all but a few had agreed with those conditions which as they understood, was to protect them. Some, however, didn’t believe Andrej and made it very known. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We will not sit idly by while you make love to some pathetic normie! They slaughter us by hundreds, drive our bodies across town like trophies! How can you </span>
  <em>
    <span>not</span>
  </em>
  <span> want to show them what we’re made of?” Another spoke up, different from the one who had spoken out the first time. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The room had immediately fallen silent, eyes dancing between Kjersti who shrunk behind a particularly strong looking guy and Andrej’s increasingly impatient form. As much as Kjersti was bothered by the notion that Andrej had been making love to her, she doubted he would even be capable of that and instead focused on the unsettling look that Andrej wore. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You will either listen to me, or you will suffer the consequences that will come with your actions. We cannot fight back, we do not have the manpower for it.” Andrej neatly fixed the tie of his suit, breezing past the insinuation of adult activities. “I will not tolerate you insulting someone who saved my life. You will learn respect, or you will learn to live on your own without us.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A hushed chorus of ‘ooh’ echoed around the room before they shut up to avoid Andrej’s wrath as he quickly ended the meeting. The room became barren of people until it was just her and the German left behind. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re a really good leader.” She mused quietly, nervously shifting her gaze to the cigarette he held between his fingers up until he had brought it to his lips. “You should be resting still.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s called trauma,” He inhaled sharply before exhaling the smoke, “Your grandmother has been looking for you. You might want to go and prove you aren’t dead, yet. I can’t afford to spend too much time resting, they… they get restless, you see? They need stability, and I am the source of that.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Do I have to? She’s probably going to lock me in my room. Who’s going to make sure you take care of yourself and </span>
  <em>
    <span>rest</span>
  </em>
  <span>? Or, maybe, I don’t know, change the bandages?” She put her hands on her hips, watching as he smiled. “I’m sure Vicki has it in her to look after the others for now, so someone needs to look after you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“For someone so small, you have enough worry for the whole world.” He snickered lightly before putting his cigarette out. “I’ll be fine, I promise. Now, go, Nightingale.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She wanted to protest, but knew he was right, so she simply said she’d be back before leaving. She truthfully wished everyone just assumed she was dead so that she may peacefully bask in the memories of Andrej’s warm kisses. Of course she had work to do and put on the guise of a disgruntled, lost girl. She even tore her dress, ran through thistles, and smudged mud on her face amongst other things. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It seemed only fair that if people thought she was lost and dead, she would play the part.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. stranger mysteries</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Kjersti stumbled into her house, acting as if she had no idea what was going on and had genuinely been lost and frightened by the Friday’s events. She didn’t register the voices in the room when she had walked in, so she was pleasantly surprised to not only see her grandmother, but her parents and the police, too. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She was bombarded with questions and worried cries before she was yanked into a series of hugs and kisses until she was certain her entire face was covered in her mother’s lipstick. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It took an extra couple of minutes after the officers decided to leave when the household finally quieted down to gentle questions and worried glances. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What happened to you, honey bunny?” Her mother quickly wiped her face, trying to clean the mud off her face. “I knew we should’ve taken you with us to Hawaii!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kjersti scrunched up her face. “I’m okay, Mama, promise! I just got a little lost, I’m perfectly fine now. I’m just glad to be back again.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>While her parents sent each other worried glances, she thought of some way to get out of this and tell Andrej the rather unfortunate news. She was happy her parents were here, but she knew what was inevitably coming and she wasn’t sure if </span>
  <em>
    <span>that </span>
  </em>
  <span>was something she was happy about.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We should just take you home, clearly it’s not safe here for you.” Her mother pursed her lips, clearly displeased with the fact that something dangerous had occurred while her baby was here. “I can’t believe we missed your birthday…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Mama, it’s okay! I’m just glad you’re here,” She bit her lip, hesitating, “I’d rather stay for the rest of the summer, Mama. It’s fine now, I’ll be okay! I have friends who’d happily look after me. They’re pretty nice for the most part, one of them is an absolute jerk though.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>From the couch, Helga let out a frustrated sigh. “Those </span>
  <em>
    <span>freaks</span>
  </em>
  <span> are not your friends! I bet you good money that they kidnapped you!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, for God’s Sake, Grandma! You better give me good money because </span>
  <em>
    <span>they</span>
  </em>
  <span> didn’t do anything! You were the one who willingly let me run off into, I don’t know, one of the most dangerous nights that </span>
  <em>
    <span>never</span>
  </em>
  <span> should have happened in the first place!” Kjersti hissed, surprising herself and even her parents with her sharp burst of anger. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her Mom pursed her lips, looking at her own Mother with rage only a mother could have. “Mother, you know Kjersti struggles with making friends. You should be glad she made friends who’d protect her, </span>
  <em>
    <span>without</span>
  </em>
  <span> your meddling! I can’t believe you - God! We’ll talk about this later!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kjersti bit her lip, watching the two start bickering while she and her Dad sat back and watched it unfold. She needed to get out and find Andrej before any of this escalated and Helga convinced her parents that Andrej, and the others, are bad for her. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“They aren’t so bad! You can meet Andrej, maybe! I’m sure he wouldn’t mind, I’ll have to ask him, though. You’ll see he is real sweet as long as you respect him!” Kjersti didn’t know what she had said until it was all too late. “He’s not a heathen, he’s not a monster. He kept me safe when it mattered </span>
  <em>
    <span>and</span>
  </em>
  <span> I saved his life, not that it seems to matter since you can’t even see past your ignorance, Grandma!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The room had shifted into an uncomfortable silence before a look of contemplation formed amongst her Mother’s calm features. There was a sigh and then a grunt of denial from Helga before her Mother turned to face her, a hesitant look on her face. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We are…. willing to meet this friend of yours, but only if it’s just him. You know how some of them can be…” Her Father wrung his hands nervously, clearly uneasy about the idea of meeting a freak, but willing to do whatever it takes to make his not-so-little little girl happy. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kjersti grinned at that, happily clapping her hands. “There aren’t a lot of places here other than Aunt Marie’s that let him in, so I hope you don’t mind if we just go there? Or, I could just bring him here?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Bringing him here might be for the best, less… publicity.” Mother chirped, cutting off the protests from Helga for very good reasons, but even she herself looked a bit uneasy. “Now, I think you should get cleaned up and go and tell him.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Alright, but please, please try to be respectful to him. He </span>
  <em>
    <span>may</span>
  </em>
  <span> look the way he does, but he’s as sweet as a teddy bear.” She looked at them, hoping they wouldn’t jump to conclusions based off of his looks. “Anyways, I’m going to get cleaned up then I’ll go and find him!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She didn’t wait for a response, knowing that the longer she hesitated, the less likely they were to be okay with seeing Andrej. There was also the matter of whether Andrej would appreciate meeting the family or not, but she supposed she could do some begging. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Rummaging through her closet, she found a perfect dress that had yet to be worn, so she quickly put it on. It was a teal charm dress, with a white lace border around the neckline. It was a beautiful, soft dress too, and it was a gift from Aunt Marie a year prior. She brushed her hair, but didn’t bother with styling it. Admittedly, she did put on a </span>
  <em>
    <span>little</span>
  </em>
  <span> makeup, but it was hardly noticeable. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She could hear yelling from downstairs, but she tried not to think about it. It was her life now, and no one would be able to tell her what she can and can’t do, and with whom she can or can’t do it with. Andrej meant a lot to her, and she was willing to risk it all over again if it meant being with him. It wasn’t just some summer romance anymore, and she doubted it was just love she felt. Ever since that night, she was swarmed with the fear of losing him, the fear of this all being a part of her mind’s attempt to cope with his death. If this was what freaks felt every day, she couldn’t understand why they put up with so much for so long.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Heading downstairs, the yelling stopped only long enough to let her leave without eavesdropping on what exactly the situation was. Kjersti knew the yelling was about how Helga had let her run out and about during Red Night which was fairly understandable considering it could have been her with the noose around her neck. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The city seemed so different when she walked through the streets, watching people repair their stores or attempt to remove the bloodstains that had burned into the concrete. She wondered how people could sit here and just return to their lives when clearly it was time to progress and make some sort of allegiance with the freaks. She knew they wouldn’t, ignorance ran rampant and there weren't enough people in the world who cared to give them a chance. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She found Vicki sitting outside by the salon, holding a newspaper as she surveyed the passing people. It seemed almost fitting to see her out and about, as nothing ever seemed to bother her, but it was </span>
  <em>
    <span>different</span>
  </em>
  <span> somehow.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey, Vicki! How have you been?” She moved to sit beside her, focusing on the ground in front of them. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Kjersti! There you are, girl. I’ve been doing pretty well, actually.” Vicki clicked her tongue, smiling at her with that all-knowing kind of smile. “Andrej is busy with some other things at the moment, but something tells me you’re looking for him -”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Of course I’m looking for him... My parents kinda want to meet Andrej and, uh, oops?” Kjersti shrugged weakly, hoping whatever Andrej was busy with wasn’t too bad. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She raised an eyebrow. “Your parents are </span>
  <em>
    <span>here</span>
  </em>
  <span> and they want to meet Andrej?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes, but they were going to take me home! I don’t want to go home, not when I have so much here! I didn’t know what else to say and it escalated and now I don’t know what to do.” She sighed loudly, almost an exasperated groan. “He’s going to </span>
  <em>
    <span>hate</span>
  </em>
  <span> me, isn’t he?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hate is a strong word, but you also saved his life so I think it’s relatively impossible for him to hate you. You should go on and ask him though, it won’t hurt to warn him before you decide to subject him to the pain and suffering of meeting the in-laws.” She snickered teasingly, shaking her head in amusement. “Andrej is out by the old Dempsey Manor, he bought it a while back and is making the steps to moving in. If he’s not out front, he’s inside.” She smiled sweetly at Kjersti, pulling a newspaper clipping out from her purse to hand it to her. “It’s such a pretty place, isn’t it? He’s thinking of calling us the Nightingale Allegiance, or something interesting like that. He likes birds, if you couldn’t tell.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He is not meeting the in-laws!” Kjersti raised an eyebrow at the sight of the paper, surprised he had decided to buy the Dempsey Manor. “Do you know why he likes birds so much? He calls me nightingale sometimes, does it mean anything special to him?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No matter how loud the noise of an area, the nightingale sings louder. Perseverance, the desire to have your voice heard. Just like us, no matter how loud they drown us out, they will hear us. He’s an artist, as well, always has been. To be his nightingale, is to be his muse.” Vicki nodded, proud of the fact that she knew the answer, before she started shooing Kjersti away. “Go! Go! Tell him the news! And watch out for Ptolemy, you’ll know </span>
  <em>
    <span>exactly</span>
  </em>
  <span> what I mean when you get there.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kjersti stared at her, long and hard, before deciding to just see for herself. She walked in silence, arms swinging pleasantly at her side. She wasn’t sure what Andrej had been planning, but she did know she was going to ask where he suddenly got the money to buy the Dempsey Manor. She wondered a great many things about him which made her think maybe she shouldn’t have pitched the idea of her family meeting Andrej.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The walk was longer than she had anticipated, but when she arrived, the manor seemed alive with how much everyone bustled about, eager to fix up their new home. She had never gotten the chance to see just how many had come under the protection of Andrej, nor had she realized just how much of a symbol he was to some of them. Or, she assumed, most of them were here for a roof over their head and some nice food. She couldn’t blame them for that. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There were old gardens in the process of being reshaped and cleaned, most likely to be returned to its former glory, and as she made her way inside, she found it was exactly the same inside. Extravagant but being fixed up by the more handy people around the home. When asked, she was directed to a double doored room. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Pushing through the doors, she was greeted with a well furnished office which made sense since having a place to make plans and whatnot should be organized and prepared. Andrej was seated at the desk in the center of the room, a ginormous dog resting at his side with its head in his lap while a giant cat of fluffy proportions sunbathed near the floor to ceiling window. All while Andrej sat reading something that seemed far more important than paying attention to the world around him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The dog was terrifying and it easily became even more so as soon as the door shut and the dog lifted his head in her direction, a deep growl coming from it’s curled lips. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ptolemy, quiet,” Andrej scolded the dog before his gaze rose to meet her, “Oh! Hi, welcome back - I, uh, I suppose you have questions?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why do you have a dog the size of </span>
  <em>
    <span>me</span>
  </em>
  <span> and also where did you get the money to buy this and also also my parents want to meet you and yes, they </span>
  <em>
    <span>are</span>
  </em>
  <span> here and I am so sorry for bringing you up, they wanted to take me home and I had to say something.” When she was done, she panted slightly, not quite expecting to have ushered that all out under one breath. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Andrej sat quietly, unpacking everything she had said with furrowed brows. “He’s a Scottish Deerhound, a hunting dog. I had him, and the cat, brought here as things are getting rough in Germany. I’ve always had money, it was my right when my grandfather passed, I just didn’t want women I wasn’t interested to fake affection for my money. As for that last one, I can’t exactly disappoint. Try not to let them insult me, I’m operating on a </span>
  <em>
    <span>very</span>
  </em>
  <span> short fuse today and I’m still not exactly at my best.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He was silent again for a moment before he spared a small smile. “You look nice today, Nightingale.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kjersti perked up at that before wandering over to him, actively avoiding the massive dog to look down at him with a curious gaze. “Thank you, Mister Rich Guy. My parents are too nervous to speak their minds if it isn’t actively endangering me, so you don’t have much to worry about there. Is everything else alright, though?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ptolemy grumpily moved when Kjersti approached, not willing to put up with a stranger. Kjersti leaned against the desk by then, squinting at Andrej as if she were inspecting him and searching for any clues of pain.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“The city has decided it’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>our</span>
  </em>
  <span> fault for all the Red Night damages, and as their leader, I’m being sued for it.” He answered simply after a long silence. He didn’t like the idea of being sued, nor did he actually appreciate anything that wasn’t a nice slice of something sweet and made of chocolate. “But anywho, do I have to wear my best suit when I meet your parents or is what I’m wearing now fine? I don’t think I could change without hurting anything -”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You look perfect, you always do, but why sue you? They started the whole ordeal! It seems pathetic to put the blame on you!” She groaned loudly, quieting when Ptolemy let out an ‘arf’ of disapproval. She jumped slightly. “He scares me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That earned her another smile. “That means he’s doing his job. He won’t hurt you, of course. He only attacks when I want him to. Some part of me wishes I could sick him on anyone who bothers me, but I could be put to death for that unfortunately and I can imagine a lot of situations where I would be greatly missed.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Mhm, so don’t do that please. I like seeing you alive and well.” She ruffled his hair, muttering something about the fact that it looked as if he hadn’t brushed his hair in weeks. “I want to stay with you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You know I won’t say no to that, unless it puts you at risk. How are you holding up, by the way?” His concern was true, in the way he furrowed his brow and the way his hand found hers, giving it a light squeeze. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She was silent for a while, holding his hand as if it were her only comfort. “I’m still scared, Andy… I just can’t let it go, you know? I - I’m sorry… you’ve got worse issues than I do.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A scoff left his lips. “And by all medical journals and scientific findings, I should be dead. Do not compare your pain to mine, we are significantly different people, Nightingale. You can talk to me about it, always remember that, okay? Would you like to go on a walk with me?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You know I won’t say no to that,” She grinned, standing from his desk, “you live your life in near constant pain. I can’t… It almost feels like you can’t really understand my pain, you know?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Andrej pursed his lips, clearly displeased by her words as he stood at her side, leading her out of the room with Ptolemy following close behind. “I may not understand your pain down to the details, but I do know what it feels like to hurt. You did something for me, something you </span>
  <em>
    <span>never</span>
  </em>
  <span> should have had to do in the first place. Your pain, to me, hurts a lot more than what my skin could ever do. I want nothing more than to take all that pain away, but unfortunately, it is not so easy.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“But why? You can’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>feel</span>
  </em>
  <span> it like I do, you don’t feel the fear, the things I had to do…” She looked down, following his footsteps. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s why it hurts. The things you had to do because you felt as if you should save me. No one’s been so…. reckless to put themselves on the line for me, I didn’t think you would be either.” He cleared his throat awkwardly, holding the door open for her as they returned to the front yard of the manor. “You were never supposed to choose </span>
  <em>
    <span>me</span>
  </em>
  <span>, Kjersti. Hell, you weren’t even supposed to look at me and think I was an option. You saved me yet all I can offer is empty promises, I can’t help but wonder why you didn’t just choose someone else. Someone… </span>
  <em>
    <span>better</span>
  </em>
  <span>.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I did it because I love you, Andrej. I’m just worried this is all a dream and I’m just trying to cope and you’re just actually dead.” She admitted quietly. “I </span>
  <em>
    <span>know</span>
  </em>
  <span> you’re here, I can touch you, but it just… it doesn’t feel like it should be. I want to feel okay again, before Red Night. When it was just you and me and that dumb lake with the lot of you resting on the other side.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He was silent, thumb absentmindedly tracing circles against her knuckles before he tugged her forward. “Nothing will ever be the same as it was before, but if you’d like, I could take you to the lake? Nothing else really matters when you’re there, it’s just you and the water, and the occasional bird.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Marry me you glorious man.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Kjersti</span>
  </em>
  <span>.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>What</span>
  </em>
  <span>? You’re thinking of my comfort and how I feel which is a lot more than I can say for my family.” She shrugged, glad that the mood had lightened ever so slightly. She knew at some point there’d have to be a discussion of some sort, maybe when the feeling worsened, but she wanted nothing more than to be at that lake with him, where everything except for them and the water ceased to exist.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ptolemy was quiet the entire walk, disinterested in everything if it didn’t smell like food. He found his place to the right of Andrej, leaning against his leg. The occasional ‘boof’ like noise coming from him whenever Andrej had given his head a few pats. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The lake seemed so different now. It was almost like it had grown with them, seen the things they had seen as time moved forward yet it was still so very much like the lake where they had met all that time ago, just with slight differences. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I do believe this could classify as a date, Nightingale.” Andrej mused lightly, heading for the tree trunk they normally sat on. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kjersti smiled lightly as she moved to sit beside him, leaning against him once she was seated. “Well, I hope you know that I like and appreciate this date very much!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Andrej was silent for a long while after that before he pulled a photograph out of his pocket. He kept the picture itself hidden from her before he held it out to her, a small smile resting on his face as he did so. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She regarded the photograph with curiosity, finding it to have been one of the many that had been in the box he wasn’t too fond of. It was just of him, but he was happy nonetheless, as if he hadn’t expected the photo to be taken when it did. It was cute to see his happiness so finely captured as it was. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You can keep it, if you’d like. It’s one of the only </span>
  <em>
    <span>good</span>
  </em>
  <span> pictures of me, I think. Mostly because it’s just me in it.” He chuckled lightly, looking away as he picked up a stick to play fetch with Ptolemy. “I don’t have any pictures of me as I am now, it’s not something I want to look at, but -”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thank you, Andrej, but I do hope you know that the man in this photo isn’t the one I have grown to love and cherish. I rather like the Andrej I have now, thank you very much!” She huffed lightly, staring at the photo with a small smile. “I wish you could see yourself as I do, Andy.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He rolled his eyes. “You flatter me too much, Nightingale. I might get used to it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You should get used to it.” She pressed a kiss to his cheek, only able to really reach just above his jawline without straining too much. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He pursed his lips. “I think you missed, Nightingale.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Did I? My apologies, good sir. Let me fix that.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She pressed her lips against his, soft and endearing, before right as they pulled away, she was bombarded with a series of kisses from Andrej. She giggled with each kiss he pressed around her face, squirming as she tried to get him to stop. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You get one kiss, you get the whole package of kisses. I don’t make the rules, Nightingale.” He shrugged nonchalantly before he clicked his tongue. “Ptolemy, here.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The dog slowly moved from the waterside to trudge over to them. He rested his giant head in Andrej’s lap, letting out a small ‘arf’ when he had done what he thought was needed of him. He sent a nasty look towards Kjersti if that was even possible.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“May I have your hand?” Andrej looked at her with a soft smile, a mischievous glint in his eyes. “He’s a little grumpy, but that’s just because he doesn’t know if he should trust you or not.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kjersti hesitantly gave him her hand, letting him lead her hand to the dog’s muzzle. Ptolemy sniffed, growled lowly for a moment, before he quieted. With that, Andrej pressed her hand against the fur of the dog’s head, withdrawing his own hand to see what either of them would do. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She pet him quietly, trying her hardest not to freak out and get bitten. When Ptolemy didn’t react as much as she thought he would, she relaxed and even gave his nose a gentle boop which earned her a small lick. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He’s adorable when he doesn’t look like he wants to kill me!” She chirped lightly, smiling at how unfazed Ptolemy was. “We should head back eventually. I mean, it would be very not good if my parents thought we were doing something else. They’re parents.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Look, Kjersti, the only activity I can do that classifies as ‘something else’ is exercise. Anything else is really generous on their part.” He snorted lightly, cracking a grin similar to the one he sported in the photograph. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Looking at him, watching him so relaxed compared to the way he was in the manor was both refreshing and heartbreaking. She wondered why he did it. “Andrej, are you sure you want to meet my parents? I don’t want to stress you out too much. You’re already doing so much.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t mind, Kjersti. I don’t disappoint, unless it’s my father. You don’t have to worry about me not going. If I can survive this long without snapping, I can probably handle your parents.” He snickered lightly, shaking his head. “Since you’ve proven yourself to be quite strong, I hope you don’t mind if I stand behind you, just in case.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re like six foot three, you just have to stand there and look intimidating. My parents are usually too busy with work to actually focus on things. Like I said earlier, unless I’m actively in danger, they don’t care. It’s both sad and wonderful because I can sometimes do what I want when I’m back home.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Andrej tensed. “Right, it slips my mind that you don’t actually live here. When will you have to go home?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“If you wouldn’t mind having an extra person around, I don’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>have</span>
  </em>
  <span> to go home, you know.” She felt foolish for even saying it, for even suggesting the very notion that she could stay with him. It wasn’t until her chin was lifted up to meet Andrej’s gaze did she realize how foolish those concerns were. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He simply smiled at her, just silently admiring her for a moment before he pressed his forehead against hers. “</span>
  <em>
    <span>Ich kann weder mit dir noch ohne dich Leben</span>
  </em>
  <span>.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She stared back at him, confused. “I never question what you say, but… what does that mean?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I can neither live with you, nor without you.” He answered back, a soft sigh leaving his lips as he pulled away. “Society says I can never be with you, but some part of me wants nothing more than to just have you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Then why listen to society? It’s not like they can </span>
  <em>
    <span>stop</span>
  </em>
  <span> you. I think I made it fairly obvious that I don’t want a normal life with some </span>
  <em>
    <span>boring</span>
  </em>
  <span> guy.” She tilted her head, watching him with curious eyes. “You just keep pushing me away. You tell me I’ll be happy with someone else, but I don’t want anyone else. I’ve gone through this much with you, and for you, that I don’t think I’d ever want that picture perfect life you seem to think would suit me. I don’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>want</span>
  </em>
  <span> anyone else.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Andrej stared at her for a long while, eyes scrutinizing her as if studying to find any source of a lie in her words and actions. He found what he desperately wanted to see. He didn’t have to think twice when he surged forward, capturing her lips in a kiss. He kissed her once, then twice, then three more times.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“The stay,” He breathed, lips mere centimeters away from hers, “stay here, with me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I was going to whether you wanted me to or not.” She grinned. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>-</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They stayed by the lake for a while longer, playing fetch with Ptolemy until he got too tired and plopped down for a nice nap. By then, after giving the dog time to rest, they embarked on their return to town. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why do you do all this? You seem so stressed, but when you’re away from it all, it’s different. Why go back to something that probably shaves a year off your life?” She looked up at him, free hand absentmindedly petting Ptolemy who now walked at her side. It was a genuine question.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“If I don’t do this, who will? Some of these people just needed a push into the right direction.” He answered simply, shrugging. “Tell me about your family so I know what I’m walking into.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hm, oh! Well, my mom is Lynda Arctander. She’s just a housewife back home, but she’s really quiet and only speaks out when absolutely necessary. Hard to please, but she lets me do what I want. She’s the kind of mom who spends more time with a glass of wine in her hand. She’s just sort of existing now. I don’t think she realizes that she just lets me do whatever.” Kjersti shrugged lightly, swaying their intertwined hands between them. “My dad is Jerry Arctander. He works as a news reporter. He got a lot of money covering this big case, but he never talks about it. He’s spineless but more likely to say something offensive to you, but you’re intimidating looking so he wouldn’t. Takes a lot to please and I mean a </span>
  <em>
    <span>lot</span>
  </em>
  <span>. He will most likely stare at you until you admit to like, wanting to sleep with me or something like that. His stare is very uncomfortable.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Andrej remained quiet throughout the entire introduction before he let out a quiet grunt, nodding. “That doesn’t seem too bad. I’ve met worse people since I looked like this.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, I’m not done. I have a younger brother, Jonathan, but he isn’t here. He has no filter and it’s bad. Sometimes you want to dropkick the child -”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Kjersti.</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What? He would deserve it okay, but that’s beside the point.” She waved his concern off, ignoring his strained attempt to not laugh. “Then there’s Grandma Helga. You will either leave silent and awkward, </span>
  <em>
    <span>or</span>
  </em>
  <span> traumatized. There’s no in between. She’s the one who let me go out during Red Night.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Andrej looked at her, brow furrowed in clear disgust. “You never should have been allowed out that night. You could’ve been hurt, regardless of the fact that you weren’t. How could she be so careless?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“She wanted to prove a point to me, I guess. That you and the other’s are dangerous and must be stopped.” She shrugged lightly, pausing when they reached the fine line between the woods and the neighborhood she lived in. “If she says anything mean to you, I am </span>
  <em>
    <span>so</span>
  </em>
  <span> sorry. She hates you and she only knows that I’ve been spending time with you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Despite what it looks like, I am not a delicate baby.” He shot back with a slight eye roll. “You owe me a slice of cake for everything mean Helga says.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re going to </span>
  <em>
    <span>die</span>
  </em>
  <span>. That much cake will kill you -”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Neither said anything until they had arrived at her house, to which Ptolemy made himself at home on the steps, growling at any and everyone who dared walk by. Andrej was nudging Kjersti closer and closer to the door while admiring the house itself before the door swung open to reveal the shriveled old hag that Kjersti really hoped wouldn’t answer the door. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Grandma! How lovely to see you at this hour, I didn’t expect you to answer the door. Oh God -” Every word that left her mouth was severely strained, trying her hardest to remain the only thing between a crazy lady and a very innocent German.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Get out of the way, girl.” She seethed, ignoring the two people approaching from behind her. “You couldn’t have picked some more </span>
  <em>
    <span>normal</span>
  </em>
  <span> looking freak? He looks like Satan, I tell you!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Mom, get out of the doorway and let them in.” Kjersti’s mother heavily sighed, a near full glass of wine in her hands. “You’ll have to forgive her, she doesn’t know how not to make me regret sending Kjersti here.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Once Helga had stepped aside, begrudgingly, Kjersti and Andrej walked in although Kjersti was rigid and filled with fear and Andrej was just enjoying the rather nice decor the home had. He turned his attention to Lynda and Jerry, bowing his head ever so slightly. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You must be her parents. It’s lovely to meet you! My name’s Andrej Diefenbach, but Andy does just fine.” As soon as Andrej had introduced himself, Helga gasped loudly and shuffled away as quickly as possible, grumbling about Germans that was probably to be taken as highly racist. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Lynda took another </span>
  <em>
    <span>very</span>
  </em>
  <span> generous sip of her wine. “I’m Lynda, this is my husband Jerry, but I’m sure our sweet, little Kjerstin told you that already. Please come sit with us in the living room.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Andrej shot Kjersti a look but all she could do was sigh miserably before beckoning for him to follow her as she practically fell right onto the couch. This was going to be a long night, she was sure of that. And it </span>
  <em>
    <span>was </span>
  </em>
  <span>a long night. Andrej and Lynda seemed to have hit it off with rather interesting stories of life, all while Jerry just </span>
  <em>
    <span>stared </span>
  </em>
  <span>at him as if it was a completely normal and sane thing to do. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>After a while of them talking when Kjersti was half dozing off against Andrej’s side, Jerry mentioned a newspaper article that would’ve gotten her attention had she not been so ridiculously bored. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She managed to hold onto important bits like the nuclear power plant, and some vague mentions of some other things before two side by side photos from the newspaper were shown. Both of Andrej. She wanted to question what it meant, but they two seemed too far into the rabbithole of the conversation to even notice her which was fine, she could ask tomorrow when she was less dead of boredom. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>One minute she had been looking at Andrej’s surprised face, and then the next she was happily dreaming of Ptolemy letting her pet his tummy. </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. where do we draw the line?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>this one has some humor that's probably misplaced im sorry. I'm like redoing some of the plot with 3 braincells</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>
    <span>Kjersti stood, immobilized on a mountaintop where she saw Andrej fighting the same four men who had nearly killed him on Red Night, except this time, Andrej only grew weaker and weaker with no signs of winning. As the fight progressed, the setting became more clear and she realized what was going to happen. There  was a little ledge off of the peak that stretched higher up, carved into the peak was a miner’s tunnel and there was a wooden post above the tunnel that was once used to hang a lantern or sign of some sort. A few feet of loose rope hung from that wooden post. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>She watched, in horrified silence as she tried to scream and tried to run towards them, as they tied that familiar noose and slipped it around his neck, tight and ready to kill. He thrashed and thrashed, but they did not stop. Strangled noises left his lips as he thrashed and convulsed as they hoisted him up. They didn’t stop, they wouldn’t hear her sobs and pleas. Then, he was dead.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span> Kjersti awoke, sobbing and with her skin searing hot to the touch. She struggled to breath, getting only short, forced rasps that worsened with each sob. She violently shook, but nothing compared to the painful need that forced her from her bed. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The wood flooring was cold against her skin, but she couldn’t shake the fear that seeped from her like goo. It made her feel sick, as if she had eaten something bad. Her body moved like molasses as she headed down the stairs. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She was surprised to see Ptolemy near the door, but she couldn’t stop. She knew if he was still here, the man she </span>
  <em>
    <span>needed</span>
  </em>
  <span> was there too. The living room was dim, the only light being faint from the moonlight that shone through.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Andrej was asleep across the couch, surprisingly looking as if he was comfortable with the added cushioning the blankets gave him. This was the first time she had ever actually seen him sleep somewhere that wasn’t his own bed, but something nagging in the back of her mind needed to see him awake and not so dead looking. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>At first her hand rested on the side of his face, then she couldn’t help but run her fingers through his hair. She would’ve liked to just snuggle up against him and listen to his heartbeat, but she wasn’t sure he was recovered enough for that, so she settled for shaking him awake. It didn’t take much to wake him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Ich bin zu müde und alt</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” He grumbled under his breath, forcing himself to sit upright as he rubbed his eyes in a meek attempt to wake himself up, “Kjersti? What…. what are you doing up…?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kjersti waited for Andrej to wake up, finding that he was infinitely hotter when his voice was husky and he spoke German. She only hoped he saw the infatuation and not the fear that plagued her, not until she was ready to talk about it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I couldn’t sleep.” She answered meekly, looking down as she fiddled with the fabric of her dress. It wasn’t a lie, but it wasn’t the whole truth either. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tiredly, he squinted at her. “And is there any particular reason for that, Nightingale?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She didn’t meet his gaze and instead climbed onto the couch, fitting in beside him with her back against his chest as best she could without putting too much pressure on skin. She didn’t say anything, even after she had snuggled against him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hm, alright. I take your silence as you had a nightmare?” He pulled the blanket to cover her, a soft sigh leaving his lips. “Do you want to talk about it?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I saw them hang you, i - in my dream. It felt so real.” She muttered quietly, trying her hardest to appear stoic, as he always seemed to do so easily. “I know we can’t stay like this all night, but just for now?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Of course, Nightingale.” He murmured, absentmindedly playing with her hair as they laid there in comfortable silence. “Would you like to talk about something, or just sit here until you have to move?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What could we talk about?” She craned her neck to look back at him, shifting so that she could look at him comfortably. She pursed her lips. “What did Dad show you? The thing that was in the newspaper?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Andrej sighed at that, almost as if he expected this. “After my accident, he was one of the few people who actually wanted my side of the story, or what I could remember of it. Everyone else just wanted to see what had become of me. He wrote a truly good article, but you know, once the mystique and wonder of it all disappears, there’s not much left. I can’t remember much, but I remember talking with him. He came almost every day to ask questions, and even after I was well enough to be discharged.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You didn’t have anyone else to come visit you other than my dad? That’s a bit… </span>
  <em>
    <span>depressing</span>
  </em>
  <span>.” She murmured, shaking her head lightly. “Dad never let me read that article, but I’m assuming it was probably for the best.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Mhm, definitely for the best. The images they used were of the process of me turning into the me you love so much. Not a pretty sight.” He cracked a small smile at that. “Though, I must appreciate all that you’ve done for me, even despite what I’ve brought to you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why do you always seem to say that it’s your fault this happened? That how I’m feeling is somehow your fault? It’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>not</span>
  </em>
  <span>, Andrej. It’s really not.” She sat up, looking down at him with a frown on her face. “I </span>
  <em>
    <span>chose</span>
  </em>
  <span> to spend all that time with you, I </span>
  <em>
    <span>chose</span>
  </em>
  <span> you. I know, I’m still young compared to you, I don’t know nearly as much and I probably don’t understand as much, either, but I do know one thing. You cannot control how things happen, no one can. You’re not God, you weren’t meant to be. Sure, I wish I didn’t have to do what I did, but it kept you alive, didn’t it? As you said, the fear won’t go away, but I could live with it as long as I have you by my side.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>He was puzzled, visibly so. “Kjersti, don’t you wonder where you’d be now if you had not met me? If you hadn’t had to choose? Would you not want that life?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Honestly, I’d like to not have to worry so much, I mean, I’m </span>
  <em>
    <span>eighteen</span>
  </em>
  <span> and I feel like I’m a mother of three, like, I shouldn’t have to feel that way. It’s not </span>
  <em>
    <span>your</span>
  </em>
  <span> fault though. I would’ve gotten caught in the cross fires one way or another.” She shrugged lightly, offering him a small smile. “I know you’ve been hurt a lot in your life, but not everyone is that cruel. I’ve got a lot to learn, and so do you. We can learn together.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Perhaps, yes, but you have more stuff to learn, if we’re really throwing ages in there.” He teased lightly, a small smile on his face. “On that note, I’ve got something to ask of you. I’d like to wait a while until either of us put a label on what we are… Mostly because you deserve the whole world, and I’d like to give that to you without forcing you to stay by my side. You want to travel the world? You got it. You want to go to a university and learn? Will do.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So… you’re offering to be my sugar daddy - I - I’m sorry, I couldn’t help it -” She covered her mouth, giggling to herself. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Kjersti </span>
  </em>
  <span>-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m </span>
  <em>
    <span>sorry</span>
  </em>
  <span>, but I’m willing to wait, yeah. Just… doesn’t spend so much money on me, okay? I might get used to it and become a spoiled brat or something.” She rolled her eyes, moving to lay back down beside him. “I would like to learn more about drawing though, and maybe just do some exploring. Fun stuff like that, you know?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know, that’s why I suggested it.” He rolled his eyes lightly at that. “You should really get back to bed, though. Such a busy day it will be tomorrow.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kjersti was going to argue about it, but he was already getting ready to fall back asleep. She wanted to stay, but felt as if Helga would be there staring at her when she woke up - a sight she didn’t particularly want to deal with, so she headed back up to her room for a night of restless sleep.</span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <span>-</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Morning came easily and Kjersti was eternally grateful for it. Andrej had long since disappeared to handle the court issue, but just like he had said the day before, it felt off. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Something was wrong, but she brushed the odd feeling off and changed into something more fitting for a court hearing. She noticed Andrej had left Ptolemy with her, and before she had left the house to head to the court, she fed him some of her breakfast - which he ate happily. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Andrej’s friends and followers were practically everywhere, roaming the streets in the same direction she was. They knew her, she realized, but she hoped it was only as the woman who saved Andrej’s life and nothing terrible. They didn’t seem to care of her presence among them though, only sparing her thankful glances, but she supposed Ptolemy had a big part to play in that. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ptolemy, the moment he had seen Andrej, joined the male in a separate area. Both were standing still, staring at a woman not too far away who was returning their gaze. The woman had a child at her side, too occupied with staring at the people who walked by to see the staredown that had started. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kjersti recognized the woman. She was the woman who stood beside Andrej in some of the photos she had seen, making this unknown woman his ex-wife. She couldn’t help but wonder why she had come, but her questioning was cut short when Ptolemy started barking at her with all the force the old boy had. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Andrej silenced the dog, but then just turned away, relieved when he had seen Kjersti standing not too far away. He practically stumbled over to her, wanting to get as far away from the other woman as possible. Ptolemy followed just as quickly. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As soon as he was as close as he was, Kjersti noticed that his hair had been slicked back, and he was in an entirely new and significantly more expensive looking suit. He looked handsome, but he always seemed to look that way in Kjersti’s eyes.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I pride myself on being a gentleman and a kind person, but I would very much like to punch her.” He fiddled with the vest of his suit, pulling it down and readjusting it as if it would make everything feel better. “But, anyways, it can’t be helped. I’ll survive. I survived without her once, I can do it again.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kjersti reached for his hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. “Just remember I’m here for you, even if the trial might suck. I still don’t understand any of this… aren’t they supposed to give you time to prepare?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He wanted to argue but Ptolemy started whining. “Oh, they did, when you were out for four days, but Vicki never told me until after. I should get inside, Lord knows they’re going to make it a point to dehumanize me. I’d rather have my dignity intact when dealing with it all.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Be careful, remember I’m going to be there, and don’t say anything that could incriminate you.” She bit her lip, trying to think of something that would calm him down and convince him that it will be okay. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She pulled him down, pressing her lips against his cheek. All she wanted to do was calm him down, or at least make him feel better about the situation even if it was a terrible place to be in. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ah, you’re like a little honeybee, sharing your sweet nature with me. Vicki said she would save a seat for you up front. I have to go now, but I’ll see you afterwards!” He quickly rushed off, heading inside with Ptolemy in tow. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He looked so sad when he had said goodbye to her, and then she wondered why that woman had to show up here after leaving Andrej behind. How could someone be so cruel to someone who deserved the whole world.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She wandered inside and took her place beside Vicki who did nothing </span>
  <em>
    <span>but</span>
  </em>
  <span> send nasty glares towards the woman Kjersti had seen talking to Andrej prior to him coming inside. As comical as it was, Kjersti would’ve loved to join in, but her attention was elsewhere. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Vicki turned to look at her, brows furrowed in frustration. “I can’t believe that brought that hag here! Lord above, she makes me so mad! Don’t know what he </span>
  <em>
    <span>ever</span>
  </em>
  <span> saw in her.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kjersti fidgeted nervously, but said nothing as the court was called into order. Her ears began ringing and for the first time since this all started, she feared for his reputation more than is life. She didn’t like the feeling that woman brought.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When Judge Whitman had taken his seat, and the trial commenced, Kjersti noticed how Andrej had already begun smoking. This was going to be a bad day. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Calling to the witness stand, Marilyn Oswald-Diefenbach.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The persecutor stood from his feet once the woman, Marilyn, had taken to the stand, and it seemed he was prepared to ask the questions that matter most. He was not a kind looking man and while he definitely seemed to know what he was doing, he let out the aura of distrust and dislike towards people like Andrej, although, it seemed centered around Andrej only. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Marilyn - may I call you that? Well, Marilyn, you were once married to the abomination known as Mister Diefenbach, correct? In fact, if my records prove correct, you two were never legally divorced, no? See, Mister Diefenbach filed for divorce a month after the… </span>
  <em>
    <span>accident</span>
  </em>
  <span>, and it was signed by his part, but you never did. Why?” He started off rough, bringing up things that clearly shouldn’t have been asked. “Was Mister Diefenbach… intimidating? Did he not let you sign it?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No! God, no. He was sweet, he was always such a gentleman to me, and very formal too. He was just always so distant once he got that job. I didn’t sign it because I didn’t have the heart to.” She looked down, biting her lip. “I couldn’t do it because I felt horrible for the way I had left things.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And do you think that the way you left him could have led to him leading a freak uprising?” He asked again, as if knowing the answer. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She shrugged. “I don’t know, Sir… He’s always been pretty clever and thoughtful, I don’t think he’d be so reckless. He’s got a short temper, but he’d never do something like this. The most he’d do is ramble in German and, I don’t know, sit in the bathtub brooding for hours!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Prosecutor, what does this have to do with the hearing?” Judge Whitman interrupted, old face creased with lines. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Your Honor, if he has a short temper, and he’s clever, it would not be too far a stretch to assume that he is possible of such a feat as this.” He responded, hands folded neatly behind his back. “Perhaps, this was done out of frustration? Perhaps he missed his wife, but didn’t want to admit it. Is that right, Marilyn?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Andrej, who had respectfully remained quiet until that point, scoffed as he exhaled the smoke from his cigarette. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It is very much possible, I mean, who wouldn’t miss me? Everything he’s ever wanted in life, he found in me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There was a loud bang and all eyes were on Andrej. Her lies had hit a nerve, and true to his nature, Andrej let his temper flair. It went no further than the slamming fist, however, and his calm demeanor was eerie and dangerous. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What do </span>
  <em>
    <span>you</span>
  </em>
  <span> know of what I want? You who hath abandoned all that she swore to love, till death do us part?” A ripple of murmurs stormed the side of the courtroom his followers were on, most supporting Andrej’s words. “My love for you died the moment you walked out of the door with our child. It died the moment you left me </span>
  <em>
    <span>suffering</span>
  </em>
  <span>, half dead, in the hospital, wondering which breath was going to be my last. You were always so cruel to me, even when we were together. Save your pathetic excuses for someone who cares to listen.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ptolemy, as if to add on to the injustice already unravelling in the court, barked and growled viciously, remaining by Andrej’s side like the good boy he was. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Contemplating, the judge fell silent and then it was all painfully clear what the ruling would be, yet they continued, this time poking and prodding at his known weaknesses, until he took the stand himself. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Not bothering to have his own lawyer, Andrej was happy to represent himself, but he didn’t seem all that bothered with whatever outcome this had. They had designed it to make him look guilty. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Now, Mister Diefenbach, I take it your… skin isn’t irritating you? Being here must be so troublesome for you between all the pain and the governing of the local </span>
  <em>
    <span>monsters</span>
  </em>
  <span>.” The prosecutor waved his hands, as if emphasizing his point. “It can’t be </span>
  <em>
    <span>easy</span>
  </em>
  <span> for you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Andrej lit another cigarette once his existing one got too short, then he glanced at Kjersti, as if checking to see if she was alright. “What’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>irritating </span>
  </em>
  <span>me, Prosecutor, is your ignorance and arrogance. I have no qualms with answering your questions, but if you want answers, you will speak to me with respect or you will get no answers at all.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Right, right,” He nodded, watching Andrej with curiosity, “I’m sure everyone is curious, so why don’t you tell us all that there is to know about your fall from grace with the </span>
  <em>
    <span>accident</span>
  </em>
  <span>, surely this must explain this whole uprising.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Leg bouncing and his chest tightened, but Andrej steeled himself. “I do not control the masses. What happened was out of my control. You act as if I am some dictator that controls their every movement. I offer them shelter and family, but I do not control their actions. What happened to me did not change who I am, it only made me stronger, better equipped to handle your </span>
  <em>
    <span>interrogation</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Of course, my </span>
  <em>
    <span>sincerest</span>
  </em>
  <span> apologies. Now, word on the street, if you will, is that you have found another beau to occupy your time. Perhaps she can offer some sort of insight into your situation? They do say she isn’t like you. She might give us answers that could help us with this.” He folded his arms over his chest. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why does that matter to you? She has done enough for me, she does not need to speak for me when I am perfectly capable of doing so myself. Leave her out of this.” Andrej responded, taking a long drag of the cigarette. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why? Afraid she’d incriminate you?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, I’m afraid she’d eat you alive. She is not a woman to be taken lightly. She is Hell in a small package if you upset her.” Andrej cleared his throat lightly. “Many people have tried to hurt me all throughout my life since looking like this, Prosecutor. I know their games, their sicknesses. I will pay for </span>
  <em>
    <span>some </span>
  </em>
  <span>damages, but I will not stand idly as I am blamed for choices the few have made, or for the few who fought in defense.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Self defense? Need I remind you of the law, Mister Diefenbach? You people don’t have any rights, you are our stepping stones to a better society. Without you.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ignorance is bliss, but it is also the fruit that bears all evil.”Andrej pulled out a checkbook from his pocket before turning to the judge. “How much are the damages? You’ll have to forgive my rushing things. I still haven’t fully recovered from nearly dying, but you know how all things are these days.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That set everyone on edge, so Judge Whitman quickly gave him a price before declaring the trial resolved. Andrej spared little time as he and Ptolemy left, practically moving at inhuman speeds. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was then when Kjersti wanted to run after him and cuddle up against him, talking about better things that weren’t this trial, but Vicki kept her still, keeping her safe from Marilyn’s vulture-like gaze as the woman approached. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hello, Victoria, I take it you’ve been well.” She smiled cheerily, as if she hadn’t abandoned Andrej. “Need a favor. You know Andrej better than anyone. I know he misses me, it’s in his eyes. But… has he said anything? Talked about me?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Honey, that’s the resentment and </span>
  <em>
    <span>trauma</span>
  </em>
  <span> you gave him from deserting him in his eyes. The only time he speaks of you is when he goes into one of his…. His moments and just can’t stop thinking about how you </span>
  <em>
    <span>abandoned</span>
  </em>
  <span> him. You have </span>
  <em>
    <span>no</span>
  </em>
  <span> right to be here asking such a question!” Vicki glared at Marilyn before she tugged on Kjersti’s hand. “Let’s go, Kjersti. I’m sure Andrej will be expecting us.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hm. Well, see you later, Victoria.” Marilyn smiled sweetly, watching them hurriedly scuffle away. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They walked at a quick pace, neither one saying anything until they were a ways away. By then, Kjersti was slightly out of breath from how quick Vicki had pulled her away, and understandably, she had questions. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why’d you pull me away so quickly?” Kjersti muttered, tugging at the sleeves of her dress as they itched. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“She’s trying to wiggle her way back into Andrej’s life. We can’t have that. She still loves Andrej, a reason why she didn’t sign those papers. She’ll lie to you, Kjersti, she’s like Crow but intentionally.” Vicki said nothing more as they walked back to the Dempsey Manor. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Vicki remained outside in the courtyard, talking with the others to warn them of whatever Marilyn had planned, but she had told Kjersti where to go to find Andrej. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kjersti ascended the stairs, silently passing by Crow who sat perched on the bottom steps. She had nothing to say to him after the things he had said before, but it was nice to see him in a more permanent home setting. Maybe it would make him nicer. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The halls were empty, with few people scattered about choosing and decorating their rooms and even labeling which door was theirs and so on. Some bunked together, while others were happy to be alone. She noticed a room with both her name and Vicki’s name on it and the door to the left of it was a double door room that she assumed was Andrej’s room. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The room was huge, with a bed furthest from the window. It was a lot bigger and better than the one at the hotel, it looked soft and expensive. There was a desk by the window with papers and his sketchbooks with shelves on either side of it. The room itself was dim, but it seemed Andrej wasn’t done with making it feel more like home to him with some unopened boxes in the corner.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>To the right of the room was a door that presumably led to the bathroom, so she figured Andrej would be in there. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Approaching the door, Kjersti pushed it open. Eyes widened in pleasant surprise as she took in the near naked form of Andrej. His entire body was just as badly ravaged as the rest of him, except for large portions of skin that disappeared beneath his briefs. A jagged line went down both his legs, separating his unaffected skin from the affected skin. He was unbelievably pale, a stark contrast to the rest of him. And Kjersti wondered just how far up it went.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Like what you see, Nightingale?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Andrej’s voice broke Kjersti from her intense gaze, and when she looked up, she was greeted with a playful grin. It seemed he had been preparing for a bath, but hadn’t had the chance to get into the warm water before she had wandered in. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh my </span>
  <em>
    <span>Gosh</span>
  </em>
  <span>, Andrej -” She covered her eyes, biting her lip as she tried not to think about what she had seen. “What are you - Are you - I have no words.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He snickered at that, lowering himself into the steamy water with a relaxing sigh. “I don’t actually know how to feel about that, but ah, I hope all that court stuff wasn’t too bad.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She rolled her eyes and approached, nearly to sit beside the tub. “No, it’s all good. A little…. surprised, but I’m still good. How are you feeling?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hm,” He grunted, closing his eyes with a content sigh, “I want to punch something that moves. If I didn’t have any morals, I would want that person to be Marilyn, but alas, I have morals and I try not to hold grudges.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I can see why you don’t like her, aside from the obvious. She was talking with Vicki, asking if you’ve talked about her at all. Vicki said it was because she’s trying to get back with you.” She moved behind the tub, wrapping her arms around his shoulder as she leaned her head against his. “She makes me uneasy, that’s for sure.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It is better to feel uneasy than to feel as if you should be her friend, she is something risky. She has never been someone worth wasting your time on, but yet I loved her anyways. Sometimes, she is the greatest mistake of my life.” He grumbled, smiling when her face pressed against his. “Can you promise me one thing, Nightingale? Can you promise me that even if I want you to wait, just a tad bit longer, you won’t leave? It’s a lot to -”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Her face warmed and she buried her face in his shoulder. “You don’t even need to ask, Andrej. I’ll stay, I promise. I love the world you introduced me too, the people you have here. I love all of it. I want to learn more about you and the others here. There’s a lot I don’t know about everyone here, so I’d like to spend the time while we wait to put a label on us to learn that.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Andrej smiled softly at that, biting his lip. “You make my heart a million times happier whenever you say such kind words. Thank you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You don’t need to thank me, Andy.” Kjersti let out a light hum, pulling away from him. “Move forward. I want to join you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Andrej sat forward, twisting to look behind him right as he caught her removing her dress. He quickly turned back around. “Oh, God above, you’re going to be the death of me. Little warning next time, yeah?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Right, sorry.” She shook her head as she tossed the dress aside and moved in behind him, arms wrapping back around his neck as she pulled him back. “Who’s that big buff scary looking guy? The one with the tattoos?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, that’s Mercutio. He’s a real softie when it comes down to it. He’s the one who caught you when you passed out, or so I’m told. If you ever have any problems with feeling safe, he’s the one to go to. He’s one of the main guardians of the children.” He waded his hand through the water, a small frown on his face. “Mercutio is like you. He doesn’t have any, ah, differences, but he’s happy to offer his help to us when we need it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He seems like a really interesting guy! A little terrifying, but still interesting.” She muttered, pressing a kiss to his cheek. “So, how far up does that whole skin difference go?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He choked, coughing for a moment as he let out a series of giggles, trying his hardest to keep himself composed. It was a good long while until he was calm enough to respond. “You can’t ask that! It’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>inappropriate</span>
  </em>
  <span>!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know! But it was a serious question! I didn’t even know you had the normal skin at all!” She squeaked out, just glad she had managed to make him laugh after such a grueling day. She didn’t understand why he had put up with all their clearly biased questions that were honestly irrelevant to everything. He was amazing in that sense, able to hold his own, but she knew he was only a man. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He rubbed his face, letting out a giggly sigh. “If you really would like to know, it </span>
  <em>
    <span>does</span>
  </em>
  <span> go all the way up. No one can explain the reasoning behind it and I would rather they not offer one either.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hm, interesting,” She teased lightly, peppering his cheek with kisses before she bit her lip, “how are you feeling? I know they mentioned things you don’t really appreciate talking about.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why do you think I was smoking? I don’t usually smoke. Only when it comforts in situations where I’m unable to find it elsewhere.” He shrugged casually, craning his neck to look back at her. “I bunked you with Vicks, but it is not unwelcome if you wish to stay with me. I didn’t want to make it seem like you had no choice.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I appreciate that very much. I’ll see about sleeping by myself and if I have another nightmare, I’ll come to you.” She ran her fingers through his hair, earning a light groan. “Is this how you unwind?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, it’s how I </span>
  <em>
    <span>brood</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Typically, I sit in here and whether there is water or not is fully dependent on my skin. If there is no water, I bring whiskey.” He chuckled lightly at the question. “The water was super hot, I’m surprised you came in.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I think I’ve got burns in some places, but I think I’m fine.” She grumbled, shaking her head lightly. “I should get going, though. I want to have a few clothes to have here, before i tell my parents that I’m staying here with you for the foreseeable future.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hm, alright, but if Marilyn tries to talk to you, ignore her and if she touches you, don’t be afraid to whack her.” He muttered, leaning forward to let her out. “I don’t condone violence of any sort.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kjersti squinted at him but merely kissed his shoulder blade before getting out of the tub and drying off. She put her dress back on and glanced back at him, a smile on her face. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ll try not to react violently but I can’t make any promises.” She blew a kiss to him as she left, hoping to spend the remainder of the day in comfy clothes and without the unnecessary presence of Marilyn. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>At least she made him giggle. </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. trust I seek and I find in you</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>i am SO sorry for taking half a century on this and I am also very sorry that this chapter is the equivalent of 20 pages. School is effectively kicking my butt so updates will be very slow from here on out but I'll try my best. I'll go back and find a way to condense it a bit better, so sorry ;-;</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“No, no! Like this, Kjersti.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Andrej, bless his heart, had spent the last five hours guiding Kjersti through what was the simplest of waltzes, most of which were of Viennese origins. At one point, she was certain she saw some sliver of frustration in his eyes. Luckily for her, he would never actually say it, but it did make her feel bad. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You are too patient with me.” She sighed, leaning her head against his chest with a heavy sigh. “I think it is best to accept that I will never be as good as you want me to be.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Nightingale, we’ve only been at it for five hours. I </span>
  <em>
    <span>insisted</span>
  </em>
  <span> we take a break earlier, but you’re as stubborn as a mule.” He lifted her chin, poking her nose. “Any sort of dance is not something you can learn in a day, but you’re going to learn one way or another. Repetition, repetition, repetition.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She huffed heavily, crossing her arms over her chest. “Why did I ever ask for you to teach me how to dance? My feet </span>
  <em>
    <span>huuurt</span>
  </em>
  <span>! Let’s do something fun like go on a walk with Ptolemy or eat lunch, or something. Mostly eating, less walking.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“If you don’t want to learn, you don’t have to,” He shook his head, a grin tugging at his lips, “we can go out on a walk </span>
  <em>
    <span>and</span>
  </em>
  <span> get some lunch, though, if you’re against the walk we can just skip that and head to Aunt Marie’s or something.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh! Sounds like a pretty neat plan.” She nodded, stretching slightly as she bounced from foot to foot. “We should maybe go now, then.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Right, of course, I do want to say something before we go, though.” He offered her his arm, brows furrowing in mild concentration. “I can’t always be at your side, both because of work and because you’re entitled to do as you wish, but I’d feel more comfortable if you took Ptolemy with you whenever you leave. I don’t want you to be put into any sort of danger, not if I can help it at least. Lord knows you’re quite troublesome on your own.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You wound me! I know you’re afraid of losing me, Andy, but I’ll be okay. Promise.” She grabbed his hand instead, giving it a reassuring squeeze. “On the topic of fears and whatnot, care to explain why you never have your bed near the windows? I noticed it back at the hotel and here at the manor, but didn’t think to say anything about it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ll answer it, but I </span>
  <em>
    <span>really</span>
  </em>
  <span> want to know how you thought that had anything to do with what we were talking about.” He rolled his eyes as he tugged her alongside him. “It reminds me of the hospital in a less than favorable way. The light kind of burns my skin sometimes, dries it out, I guess. I like dimly lit rooms because they, ah, admittedly make me feel safe.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How come you never speak of the things that bother you? You just… sit there and take it or you try to avoid it until you have no other choice.” She looked up at him as they walked, squinting to see if she could see anything that would hint at a hole in his normal stoic behavior. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What happened to me, what happens to me, and what could happen to me are all my own business. Why should someone else have to listen to me talk about the things one cannot change? Besides, it’s not like it matters much.” He shook his head, grunting when Kjersti suddenly halted. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She stared up at him, brows furrowed. “Andrej, that isn’t…. That isn’t a healthy way of thinking about things, you know. When things get tough, it </span>
  <em>
    <span>is</span>
  </em>
  <span> okay to talk to people about it. I came to you with the nightmares, didn’t I? I could’ve kept that to myself, but I went to </span>
  <em>
    <span>you</span>
  </em>
  <span>. You don’t have to fight alone anymore. Promise.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Andrej was silent for a long while, staring back at her with a mix of emotions that shifted between relief and confusion, then they were together all at once. It seemed not even Vicki had offered him this luxury, and Kjersti didn’t even want to bother with wondering what Marilyn had offered him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“If you want, we could just get some chocolate cake? Not much of a lunch, but I know you like sweets.” She wrapped her arms around his waist, burying her face against his chest. “We could go around eating as many sweets as we want! My treat.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Then, through the confusion and relief, he smiled. “I’d like that very much, actually. But there will never be something that can match up to your sweetness. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She grinned. “Oh, </span>
  <em>
    <span>please</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>-</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was hot outside, and Kjersti was thankful they had made it to Aunt Marie’s before she started sweating whatever weight she had. Andrej was irritated, but she couldn’t blame him with the suits and the heat. She wished he didn’t have to do this to himself, but putting as much distance between your weakness and the outside world was how he survived for so long. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Aunt Marie was out that day, but her daughter Shelley handled the orders. She said nothing about Andrej and Kjersti, only serving them and letting them enjoy their cakes in silence.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Everything had been going just fine when Marilyn had wandered in. She stayed away at first and Kjersti was able to keep an eye on her from where she sat, across from the very unsuspecting Andrej. She had her purse with her, a yellow folder poking out of it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Marilyn grabbed something from a table that needed to be cleaned, then slid into the booth beside Andrej, a sickeningly sweet smile on her face. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hello, you two lovebirds,” She smirked lightly, arms shifting from beneath the table, out of Kjersti’s gaze. “I can see why you didn’t bring her to the stand. They would’ve eaten her alive.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Andrej shifted closer to the wall, willingly backing himself into a corner if it meant putting distance between them. “Unless you’ve signed those papers, I want nothing to do with you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She inhaled sharply at that and pulled a folder from her bag. “I was advised that it would be the best if I did, so I listened. What does she have that I don’t? Look at her, she is nowhere near your age!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You don’t change, Marilyn, and you won’t. Some people are capable of change, but you are not one of them.” He averted his gaze elsewhere, trying ridiculously hard not to give Marilyn the light of day. “What she has, that you very clearly don’t, is respect.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kjersti watched the two of them, but something felt off. Almost as quickly as it had happened, Marily had caught a small portion of Andrej’s skin in the prongs of a fork she had slammed down into the table. He lurched forward, letting out a hiss, ignoring the manilla folder being placed down.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Marilyn was quick to depart shortly after, clearly displeased that Andrej had been set in his avoidance of her. Kjersti took her place, quickly scooting beside Andrej, looking at his hand after he had yanked the fork out. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“There’s some blood, but I think you’ll be okay if you just keep it covered.” She looked down at his hand, pressing a napkin into it as best she could without hurting him too bad. “You’ll live, though, so there’s that good news.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are you </span>
  <em>
    <span>really</span>
  </em>
  <span> taking the time to tell me I won’t die after I got stabbed in the hand?” He looked at her, annoyed. “I mean, you’re </span>
  <em>
    <span>right</span>
  </em>
  <span>, but she still stabbed me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know, I know, we can deal with that later, but do you want to just head back or something? You can wrap up your wound there, if you’d like.” She shrugged, moving back to her seat across from him. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>He looked puzzled for a moment. “I’ll be alright. We came to eat, did we not? You promised me cake. I am not leaving here until I eat cake. I am ambidextrous anyways, a fact she seemed to forget if her goal was to keep me from writing or anything like that.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ambidextrous? You can write with both hands? You could be writing, like, two letters at once!” She grinned at him, making sure he wasn’t messing with his injury too much. “Be careful, okay? I don’t want you to hurt anymore than you already do.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ll be alright. I’m a big boy, but I don’t think that’s really how being ambidextrous works. They’d have to be the same letter content wise. I can’t write two separate things at once.” He snorted lightly, shaking his head. “That really hurt though, I knew she could do it, but I wasn’t expecting that she’d actually do it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“People can be surprising like that, but why stay with someone who’s like that? I mean, sure everyone is capable of something, but if you always knew she could do it, why’d you stay?” She tilted her head at him, brows furrowed slightly. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He shrugged. “You’d put up with a lot of things if you were just happy you had someone. Back then it was all about nuclear particles. It’s all I would ever talk about, really, yet she stayed. Sometimes, I wondered if I should’ve gone into something else like, ah, mathematics, or </span>
  <em>
    <span>art</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Mother always said I had a thing for art, but I just had to get -”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“But you might not have met Vicki and helped all the people you did. Besides, you can still get into art. You’re exceptional at it and you ought to do it </span>
  <em>
    <span>more</span>
  </em>
  <span> than you already do.” She ruffled his hair, sparing him a big grin. “I bet you could get real famous, you know, like Picasso or something!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s not the kind of art I make, Nightingale. I go for realistic portraits and all that, just sketches really. I’m extremely flattered you think so highly of my art, though.” He looked away, biting his lip out of embarrassment. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re really cute when you’re embarrassed!” She snickered lightly, but said nothing more. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They stayed and finished eating before they headed back to the Dempsey, or presently Diefenbach, manor. Upon returning, Andrej parted to go speak with Mercutio and a few others, leaving Kjersti to return inside.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kjersti found Ptolemy in the study with Andrej’s cat, Cleopatra. She had been pretty elusive, probably getting used to the new home, but it didn’t matter since she ran and hid as soon as Kjersti had entered the room. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Silently, she moved to sit beside Ptolemy on the floor, smiling softly when he gave her hand a soft lick before stretching out on his side. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Andrej had a tough life, Kjersti noted, and she knew no amount of love and adoration could ever fix the pain the world had given him. She knew there was nothing that could make him easier to talk to in terms of sharing what was bothering him, but she liked to think she made a little progress with him regardless. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ptolemy looked at her, letting out a small whine as if to command her to pet him, so she did. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>-</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kjersti had fallen asleep cuddling with Ptolemy and almost as soon as she had sat up, she regretted every moment in her life that led to her being on the floor. Every part of her was sore, from her neck to her legs - she didn’t even think it was possible to have your eyes be sore, yet here she was. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It looked to be around afternoon now, but she wasn’t really hungry. She would go for a snack later on, when she was feeling a bit more hungry. She might make a sandwich or something if she were truly hungry.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He dated her for a while.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A squeak left Kjersti’s lips and she wasn’t all too surprised to see that Crow had made a somewhat iconic return. She wasn’t in the mood to deal with him, nor did she want to figure out if what he was saying was a lie or not. She had dealt with him once before and it had, regrettably, influenced her decisions. Not again. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What are you doing here, Crow? Come to be annoying?” She rolled her eyes, hand absentmindedly petting Ptolemy’s head. “I’m not in the mood for your dumb lies right now. Go bother someone else.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Crow stood there, contemplating his choices. “You’re upset. Why?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why do you think, Crow? What could possibly be the reasoning behind why I’m upset? I don’t want to hear your weird words! You’re nothing but a bully.” She huffed, looking down at Ptolemy. “I still feel a little out of place here.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You are favored by Andrej. He hears everything that goes on with the others, I’m pretty sure if he heard people talking bad about you, he would have made it fairly obvious that you would not be going anywhere.” He answered honestly, moving to sit in front of her. “He is protective of you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How should I believe you? Last I checked, you were a total jerk to me.” She rolled her eyes, but couldn’t deny the nice feeling she got after hearing his words. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I didn’t think you honestly cared for Andrej. I didn’t want you to use him and then hurt him, but I know that’s not true now.” Crow wrung his hands nervously, looking down at the floor. “I’ve been with Andrej for awhile. I’ve seen the way he talks about you and the way he looks at you. It was a mistake to be mean, sorry.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She bit her lip, eyeing him curiously. “... You’re forgiven, Crow. Just… don’t do it again, okay? It's hurtful.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Alright, I’ll do my best not to.” He agreed before glancing back at the door. “You should go visit him. He’s up in his room now, probably napping or in the bathtub brooding”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why on </span>
  <em>
    <span>Earth</span>
  </em>
  <span> does everyone know about that? How does everyone even know about that? Were you at the trial or whatever?” She squinted lightly, muttering under her breath about it. “I’ll think about it though.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You know I was lying about the whole they were dating once thing right?” He wasn’t sure if his words had brought this on, but the glare she sent his way told him it wasn’t. “You’re jealous… of Vicki? Why?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“She’s everything I’m not, I guess. It doesn’t really matter, it’s a dumb way to feel when I know he likes </span>
  <em>
    <span>me</span>
  </em>
  <span>.” She shook her head lightly, sighing. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Crow was silent for a long while before he cleared his throat. “You should talk to him then. I don’t think he’d mind much at all, especially since it bothers you this much. He’s super annoying that way because once you start talking, you can’t stop and he’s just sitting there with his dumb gentle smile and offers you some advice or whatever. Stupid kind face -”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She chuckled at that, brow raised. “That doesn’t sound all that bad, you know. How come </span>
  <em>
    <span>you</span>
  </em>
  <span> don’t just talk to him and let him sit there with a gentle smile before he offers advice?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Because…. I just don’t want to. I might say something I don’t want to say.” He waved her question off, shaking his head. “</span>
  <em>
    <span>You</span>
  </em>
  <span> should talk to him, though. It couldn’t hurt and it might make you feel better!”</span>
  <span><br/>
<br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll talk to him, just not sure </span>
  <em>
    <span>when</span>
  </em>
  <span>.” She rolled her eyes, rolling her eyes when Ptolemy let out a huff. “Is he even awake right now?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know, I don’t just waltz into his room whenever I want.” He scoffed playfully, but then he shrugged. “He might be. If not, you can just sleep with him and like, not on the floor. You looked very uncomfortable but Ptolemy growled at me whenever I got too close.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh. Well, I’m sure you wouldn’t mind watching him while I go and talk with Andrej!” She chirped happily, pushing herself to her feet while Ptolemy let out a ‘boof’ of displeasure. “Gosh, that floor was uncomfortable.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She ignored Crow’s protests and just left Ptolemy in his care, knowing full well that the dog could handle himself if Crow did something stupid, or vice versa. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There were people wandering the halls when she left Andrej’s study, but most of them didn’t pay her any mind and just wandered on by. Upstairs was far more barren of people, and if there were any, they were probably in their rooms. It was a peaceful evening, too peaceful considering what had happened, but this must’ve been what they experienced every day. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kjersti passed through Andrej’s door as quietly as she could, not sure if he was asleep or not. She found him lying in the middle of his bed, back towards her with no way of knowing whether he was sleeping or not. He shifted, ever so slightly, but she still wasn’t sure. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cleopatra had made her home on Andrej’s coat jacket, narrowed eyes following Kjersti as she approached the bed. The Maine Coon hissed at her before running to hide, but thankfully she didn’t seem to bother Andrej too much. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She slipped under the covers behind him, arms and legs finding their way to entangle around him as he shifted, getting accustomed to her being there. She leaned her chin against his shoulder, head leaning against his as an arm rested beneath his head and the other around his shoulder. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He stirred. “I got stabbed with a </span>
  <em>
    <span>fork</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Imagine that.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A giggle left her lips, but she was still worried. “How are you feeling, Andy? I’d rather you not die by fork. That would look bad on your tombstone.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know if anyone would even believe it if that’s what the stone said.” He pulled her hand up, pressing a kiss against the back of it. “I’m doing much better. My hand still hurts and so does my head, but it beats being doped up on things that numb the pain.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re so dramatic sometimes, Diefenbach. You can take some medication, maybe like one tablet or something and you’ll be okay.” She smiled at the kiss, pressing a kiss to the nape of his neck. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, using the last name, I see. My middle name is Lee if you want to yell at me anytime soon.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Andrej Lee Diefenbach, you should take care of yourself more!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A sigh left his lips, but he relaxed almost, seeming to just melt into her arms. “I’m trying, you know that right? Just, seeing her again makes it a million times worse. It’s as if I was making so much progress and then the moment I saw her, it fell right back to square one.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kjersti smiled at that, pressing a quick kiss to his shoulder. “I understand that, I just want you to know that you can open up to me. I don’t know much about her, but I can make for a good listener and I can just play with your hair or something while you talk. I know you like to help people, but sometimes you need the help, too.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Everything was silent for a moment and she could hear the sigh that left Andrej’s lips as he contemplated his response. At first, he said nothing, only pulling himself from her warm embrace to roll onto his other side to look at her. He shifted to move close to her, index finger moving to poke her nose. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You are much too sweet for a person like me. It’s like giving presents to a child who’s done bad things.” He ran the pads of his fingers across the skin of her cheek, tracing circles. “If you want to know about Marilyn and I, you should know that Marilyn’s family had urged us to marry, but I was, ah, not ready for it. Got baby trapped and then it fell downhill from there. I try not to dwell on the details or else I notice the things I should’ve, but that’s the brief story.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Don’t beat yourself up about the past. You learned from those mistakes, you got better, you understand more.” She shrugged lightly, poking his nose back. “A person like you deserves the whole world and the stars to go with it. I wish you saw yourself as I do, but I think you’re content with my compliments.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Quite so.” He chuckled lightly, scrunching up his face at the poke.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There was a soft smile on her face after that, but even then there was something tugging at the back of her mind. “Andrej, how can you love me? You have your pick of anyone here, especially Vicki, so why me?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He inhaled sharply, eyes saddened by her words. “How could I not? I’ve been known to wear my heart on my sleeve, to love so easily and so strongly. Marilyn… she broke something in me that I didn’t think could ever be fixed, but then you came. I got curious, wanted to get to know you, why you didn’t run, why you looked at me and your first thought wasn’t to tell me I was a spawn of Satan. I could go on for hours about why I love </span>
  <em>
    <span>you</span>
  </em>
  <span>, but there will be a better time to ramble on about that. I love you because you’re bold, stubborn, and very brave. You are not Vicki, that is true, but do </span>
  <em>
    <span>not</span>
  </em>
  <span> for one moment think I’d prefer her over you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kjersti stared at him for a long while before she sniffled, beginning to pepper kiss across his face. Then she was smiling, grinning from ear to ear.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I think I’m gonna marry you, Andrej Lee Diefenbach.” She murmured quietly, biting her lip as she looked at him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Kjersti Diefenbach. I like the sound of that.” He whispered, staring at her with all the love in the world. “Are you hungry? We only had cake since </span>
  <em>
    <span>someone</span>
  </em>
  <span> decided to be who she was always destined to be.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kjersti thought about it, a quiet hum leaving her lips. “I could go for ham. Like, not a ham sandwich. Just straight ham. No, wait! Can you cook?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He squinted at her. “Yes. Why?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Make something random for us to eat together!” She sat up, looking down at him with a soft smile. “Only if you want, that is. I don’t want to push you or anything.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Silently, he thought about it before shrugging. “I can do that. I have </span>
  <em>
    <span>two</span>
  </em>
  <span> hands, believe it or not. Won’t be too hard to make something. Do me a big favor though and get out of bed, please. I don’t intend on rolling over you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She huffed at him playfully, but did as asked to not annoy him too much. “I’ll wait here, then. Your bed is </span>
  <em>
    <span>still</span>
  </em>
  <span> very, very comfy. I think I’m just going to stay here tonight, with my man and his comfortable bed.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Your man</span>
  </em>
  <span>? Fantastic choice of words.” He rolled his eyes lightly as he got up from the bed, letting out a slight grunt when he stood. “You got to marry me first before you can call me yours. I appreciate the thought, though.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She watched him, shifting to help him until he had swatted her away. “Don’t tempt me, Andrej. I do like a good challenge.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He cast an amused look her way, eyes flickering with mischievousness. “You’re cute, Kjersti, but it’ll take a lot to tame me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know. I could just give you sweets and pepper you with affection and adoration until you give in. Or maybe hold you and play with your hair because I know you like that.” She shook her head, watching as he paused with his hand on the doorknob. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hm, maybe I </span>
  <em>
    <span>am</span>
  </em>
  <span> easy to tame.” He snickered before he quickly left the room, knowing full well that if he stayed a moment longer, he wouldn’t have left at all. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kjersti remained in the room, opting to take Andrej’s still warm side of the bed. She snuggled beneath the covers there before she felt something jump up onto the bed, and when she looked she had found Cleopatra hesitantly wandering up to the other pillow where she plopped onto the soft cushion. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Quietly, she reached out to pet the cat, receiving a hiss in response but nothing more. Understandably, she withdrew her hand and rolled onto her back as she impatiently waited for Andrej to return. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When she heard the door open and close again, she had realized she was probably seconds away from dozing off. She wondered if the comfort of the bed was really that strong, or if she lost track of time. Sitting up, she decided on the latter. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I made something simple, but it took a while. I’m kind of surprised you didn’t fall asleep while I was out.” He mused quietly, setting a tray with two bowls on the side table, watching Cleopatra scramble away. “It’s potato salad, mostly because I didn’t feel like dealing with anything hot.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Understandable,” She sat up, stretching slightly, “Andrej, when I’m older and we’re like, married and all that, we should have kids or something.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Andrej paused, blue eyes clouded with concern then morphed into mild amusement before he simply shrugged. “If you are sure that is what you want, I would not be against it. I don’t think any </span>
  <em>
    <span>babies</span>
  </em>
  <span> would particularly enjoy the sight of me, however.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Babies are terrified of their own farts, I really don’t think they’d be scared of you for long.” She smiled at him, teasing. “If you don’t want any kids, I don’t mind that either. Don’t really know how I feel about the potential of sharing your love.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re very cute, Kjersti. You don’t have to share me if you don’t want to, but I do have a whole faction of people to run, so you’ll have to share me with them.” He poked her nose before gesturing to the food he had brought. “Now, eat.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She grinned at that and was eager to begin eating. She practically devoured all of her salad, surprisingly far more hungry than she had ever expected. She stole a few potatoes from Andrej’s bowl, but when she was finished, she threw herself back on the bed, rolling onto her side. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Jesus, woman, did you not eat in the last five days?” He teased, not at all minding how quickly she had eaten. It flattered him considerably that she enjoyed the food as much as she did. “I’ve never met a woman who didn’t think eating small and appearing dainty was more important than anything. Save for Vicks when it’s a potluck.”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“What’s the point of being dainty now? You love me as I am, I love me as I am, everyone loves me as I am except for your ex-wife.” She retorted lightly, sitting up as she beckoned for him to come cuddle with her. “I may look dainty, but I’ll break your face in.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Andrej raised an amused eyebrow at her, setting his own bowl aside to slide back beside her. “And I do not doubt that for one moment. I can’t stay and cuddle, I </span>
  <em>
    <span>do</span>
  </em>
  <span> have business to attend to.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You can do that here. Use my back as a desk or something. What do you even do for now since the whole nuclear situation.” She looked at him, genuinely curious while also silently hoping it wasn’t a trigger to send him into another one of those fits. She wasn’t sure if she could help him if it happened again. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He bristled at first, inhaled slowly, then shrugged. “I’m still a nuclear physicist, I just write papers now. Kind of like a professor, I suppose. They pay quite a lot, mostly out of guilt for nearly killing me and shoving me into a life of dealing with this. The paycheck is worth it, I suppose nearly dying has its positive outcomes.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So, they just don’t trust you to ever go back?” She tilted her head, not entirely understanding. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s for my health that I never go back, all that radiation would kill me faster than you could tell me you love me.” He playfully pouted in her direction, shifting on the bed so that one of his arms rested beneath his head while the other played with her hair. “I do enjoy the time I get to spend doing what I please, though. Had I stayed, I would not have met you and I would not have met my destiny.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Andreeeej</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” She whined. </span>
  <span></span><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>“What?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re being too romantic and cute. My dainty heart can’t handle it.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Andrej snickered, laughing lightly as he listened to her words. “</span>
  <em>
    <span>Nur weil du mich so machst.</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>-</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kjersti stood in her undergarments in front of the mirror in Andrej’s room, poking at the slight fat on her thighs and waist. It had been a few days since she had spoken with Andrej regarding his job, and now they were going out on a date, but she couldn’t get past how unusual she looked. She didn’t remember putting this weight on, and compared to other people her age, it truly did make her feel… </span>
  <em>
    <span>unworthy</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Andrej wandered into his room, flipping through papers before he noticed the partially nude Kjersti and had quickly decided to avert his gaze back to the papers. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Am I fat, Andrej?” She turned to Andrej,ignoring the dress she had brought into the room with her a mere hour earlier. “Or chubby? Or just unattractive?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Without a beat, Andrej responded with a surprised sigh, “You are none of those things. Beauty comes in many shapes and looks. Beauty is whatever makes you happy, Nightingale, remember that, okay? I will always love you as long as you love me.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know that, but I mean, look at me! I just… I don’t feel like how I used to, you know?” She sighed heavily before turning to grab the dress and slip it on.”Can you help with the zipper? Like, I know it’s so stupid for me to fuss over but it’s like my whole opinion of myself changed within the blink of an eye. It’s like it isn’t even me anymore.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Silently, he wandered over and zipped the back of her dress, leaving a quick kiss against her cheek. “Your looks change nothing for me, Nightingale. I understand exactly what you mean, but I will love you unconditionally, regardless of what you look like. You love me unconditionally, ja? Even with how I look, with all the things I cannot give you? I want you to love yourself as much as you love me. You are truly beautiful, you know, like a work of art in a famous museum. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Du bist die einzige wahre Schönheit in dieser grausamen Welt</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>By then, he had promptly placed another kiss to her cheek, moving to set his papers down near the bedside. His heart broke hearing the way she felt upon looking at herself, but he understood, after all he felt the same way about himself.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Chin up, Nightingale, you are beautiful to me. Always and forever.” He smiled sweetly at her, hoping the ache in his chest from her words would not show. ”Now, we will have none of this self-doubt today! Today, we enjoy ourselves.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Something tells me you’re just going to eat cake.” She teased, instantly perking up at his compliment. “Andrej, you’re too sweet.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thank you, it was the years of trauma.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Andrej</span>
  </em>
  <span>.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He snickered, waving his hand dismissively as he offered his arm to her, leaving his other hand in his pocket. It was clear this moment meant the world to him. Kjersti decided not to focus too hard on her previous self doubt, instead tugging on his arm excitedly, wanting to spend some </span>
  <em>
    <span>real</span>
  </em>
  <span> alone time with him where no one would interrupt, no Vicki, no Marilyn, no Crow. Just </span>
  <em>
    <span>them</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kjersti had been wanting a peaceful evening with Andrej for what felt like </span>
  <em>
    <span>eons</span>
  </em>
  <span>. She may be mature, but her patience was still that of a toddler who wants food. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They left the mansion far behind, intertwined hands swinging between them as they made their way to Aunt Marie’s. Walking about wasn’t as odd as it used to be, but they still got the rather rude stares that only worsened the feeling she got when she looked at her reflection. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ignore them, Nightingale, you are perfect just the way you are. You are the woman Aphrodite is said to truly look like.” He pulled her close, pressing a kiss to the top other head. “They could only </span>
  <em>
    <span>dream</span>
  </em>
  <span> of having someone as beautiful as you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Her face lit up red, hiding her embarrassment in Andrej’s sleeve. “You really like flattering me, don’t you?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Of course. Your face gets all red and adorable. Like a little tomato!” He grinned, tone a </span>
  <em>
    <span>lot</span>
  </em>
  <span> more excitable than usual. It was clear he had something planned, and while he was good at hiding his pain and the things that bother him, he was not so good at hiding genuine surprises. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Squinting, Kjersti looked up at him. “Did you just compare me to a tomato?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Would you rather be a cute-cumber?” He raised an eyebrow, looking at her with raised eyebrows. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Andrej!” She squealed lightly, hiding her face in her hands as she tried to calm down her quickly beating heart. Even when she removed her hands, her entire face was a dark shade of red. “I can only handle so much!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, you better get used to it then, Nightingale. I will always be giving you these compliments. I will spend as often as I must reminding you of how much I cherish you.” He added with a small smile. “After we eat at Aunt Marie’s, I’d like to go out stargazing with you. And, if you’re not too tired afterwards, we could draw some things together. I’d love to give you some more lessons on art, too.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Her eyes sparkled and she practically bounced around on her feet. “Yes! Yes! Yes! Please teach me more art! You know I’ll listen and pay attention! Can you teach me how to draw anatomy this time? I tried it a while ago and it really wasn’t that great.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ll teach you whatever you’d like to know as long as there’s time for it.” He smiled gently at her, perking up when they had arrived at Aunt Marie’s. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They sat in a corner booth, ordering burgers and french fries, only to take bites from each other's food. They talked for hours on end about anything and everything, both finding the odd little quirks the other had. Kjersti became very aware that Andrej had been a spoiled little rich boy, meant to follow in his father’s footsteps in the textile industry. When he was eleven, he got into mathematics and science before making his way to nuclear physics. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So, you were supposed to run a factory, but you chose something better and your dad got </span>
  <em>
    <span>mad</span>
  </em>
  <span> at you?” Kjersti raised an eyebrow, munching on the last of her fries. “That doesn’t make any sense! Shouldn’t he just be glad you’re working to begin with?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’d think, but if he doesn’t take over the family business, why even bother? He was disappointed I didn’t want to continue the business. We haven’t spoken much since, but you know.” He shrugged lightly, leaning his chin in his palm. “We never saw eye to eye, now my mother? She understood. She understood even when you said nothing. Mother’s they got that ability, knowing when you’re sad or hurting. Anyways, even after I was pulling in quite a lot of money with my new finds and studies, the only person interested in me was the person who had recruited me for the nuclear plant job. Enough about silly old me, you got a job in mind or something?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Eh, not really. I never gave it much thought, actually. I’m good at making clothes, but that’s not what I want to spend the rest of my life doing. Maybe I could write books or something? I don’t know…” She sighed quietly, looking away. “I wanted to be an engineer when I was younger. My cousin was one before he moved away, but I was quickly discouraged from that. My dad’s a writer for journalism, so maybe I could give writing a try, though.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I think you should! I’m sure whatever you write will be wonderful, if you ever need an editor, I think I know my way around words.” He chuckled lightly before shaking his head. He put down some money. “We should probably get going. I know a great place for us to go stargazing at, and we won’t get bothered by anyone.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I like how not being bothered is just part of the package now.” She snickered lightly, sliding out of the booth to stand, waiting as Andrej did the same. “Where are we gonna go? Where? Where? Is it somewhere I know?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He put a finger to her lips, a small smile on his face. “You are quite impatient, Nightingale. You’ll know as soon as we get there, promise. It’s nowhere bad, I just like surprising you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Of course you like surprising me - It better be a good surprise, then!” She grabbed onto his hand, eagerly tugging him, wanting to go quickly. “Come on, come on, come one!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Andrej laughed, shaking his head, but he said nothing and began the journey to the place he had picked out. Kjersti continued asking questions, although most of them dwindled down to her curiosity of Germany and what it was like there in contrast to the small Texas. She wondered if one day she could see Germany with him.</span>
</p>
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